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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Dad50 on June 21, 2021, 04:15:43 PM



Title: Don;'t trust myself about what even is normal.
Post by: Dad50 on June 21, 2021, 04:15:43 PM
In the vein of "Walking on Eggshells" I have become so hyper sensitive that I am not even sure what is normal anymore.

For example, my pwBPD and I spent the morning together, hung out, went to lunch, went book shopping to get a novel we could both read on our upcoming vacation, stopped off at the grocery store to get a few things, then I dropped her off at her house and headed home.

I had barely gotten halfway home, and got a text from her "anything happening"?  Am I paranoid, or does that seem weird?

I mean, we had just spent the whole morning  and early afternoon together. Had a pretty decent time. It just seems weird , and then my "walking on eggshells monkey mind" starts wondering if this is some weird entry into something she is mad about. Maybe it is her abandonment stuff. Like, I'm gone literally five minutes and she is wondering if anything is happening?


Title: Re: Don;'t trust myself about what even is normal.
Post by: formflier on June 21, 2021, 04:31:58 PM

Yeah..that's different.

How did you respond?  How long do you typically wait to responding to texts like that?

Have you noticed that she responds differently depending on how long you take to text back?

Best,

FF


Title: Re: Don;'t trust myself about what even is normal.
Post by: Dad50 on June 21, 2021, 04:46:23 PM
I respond right away. Maybe that has conditioned her to get that immediate response. I guess I haven't experimented with not responding. I am so conflict avoidant/averse that I want to head things off right away, and am terrified if I don't respond she will get all suspicious and feel abandoned (I know I am not responsible for those feelings, but I am still working on that not trying to take responsibility bit)