BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Zombilina on July 23, 2021, 11:00:10 AM



Title: Intro - Spouse has high-functioning BPD
Post by: Zombilina on July 23, 2021, 11:00:10 AM
Hello! My SO has high-functioning BPD. We’ve been together 6.5 years and while they have talked about having BPD they are very high-functioning. I have been working through my own therapeutic process to address anxious attachment, anxiety issues, depression, and ADHD. We have reached a point where the psycho-emotional work I am doing is helping me to create and maintain more boundaries in my personal, romantic, and professional life. I think it is the change of these boundaries that has triggered less empathy and more “acting out” behaviors in my SO. I initially wanted to find a place to connect with others in romantic partnerships with BPD (ideally a zoom peer-led support group) and was pleased to come across this site with all of the information and connection. I look forward to connecting, supporting, and talking with others who love someone with BPD, as well as having a space to gain support and understanding for the experience that is Loving Someone with BPD.


Title: Re: Intro - Spouse has high-functioning BPD
Post by: kells76 on July 23, 2021, 11:08:07 AM
Hi, welcome, Zombilina;

It makes a lot of sense that your SO would "act out" more as you develop healthier boundaries. As you continue to connect and read here, you'll probably run across the phrase "extinction burst": https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=85479.0

Check out that thread whenever works for you; we'd love to hear if that clicks with your experience.

Does your SO have an official diagnosis of BPD?

Whatever the diagnosis status, this is a place for people who have difficult people in their lives. The traits and behaviors associated with BPD (and other PDs) are extremely challenging whether a person is diagnosed or not. So glad you're here to grow, connect, and share!

Warmly,

kells76