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Title: Lost and Brave, Please Help Post by: Viri on January 16, 2023, 02:20:31 AM Trigger warnings: talk of self harm, hospitalization, rage
“What’s the bravest thing you ever said?” “Help” “Asking for help isn’t giving up its refusing to give up” Help! My partner of 2 years has a BPD diagnosis and we are struggling so hard. I have a CPTSD diagnosis and late diagnosed autism which bring complications of their own. I want to find resources that aren’t ableist and dehumanizing. I want to learn what I can of my partner’s diagnosis so I can learn how to support them. We are in crisis as they have just been voluntarily hospitalized in a behavioral health institution. I started to notice something changing over the course of the last month. More intense mood swings, time periods of rage where it’s clear their logic brain is not even online. It eventually broke into self harm and this hospitalization. I am heartbroken and so lost in this.I adore my partner and they adore me but we are carrying so much heaviness. I worry that all my attempts at helping aren’t working or causing escalations. I would be so appreciative of recommendations of books and other resources so I can learn more about this. Thank you in advance. I’m so grateful to find this place exists. I hope to make good connections with others to share in this difficult journey and to learn from you all. Thank you Title: Re: Lost and Brave, Please Help Post by: babyducks on January 16, 2023, 07:09:52 AM welcome Viri,
I'm glad you found us and took the brave first step of posting your message. You have found a community that understands what it is like to be in a relationship with someone with an illness. It's often times confusing and upsetting. I'm going to start with two recommendations and two links. The first is a book and in the green text is the review here on this website. https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=203887.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=203887.0) Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist Author: Margalis Fjelstad, PhD, LMFT is one of the best books available. It describes the unique relationship dynamics we find ourselves in. My then partner (now Ex) was/is diagnosed Bipolar 1 comorbid (coexisting) with another disorder, most likely BPD. When I first came here, I was very confused and struggling with a lot of anxiety. Reading this book helped me enormously. I probably highlighted more than half of it as I read. There are a lot of resources here on this website. On the top of this board, pinned to always stay there is a thread called LESSONS. Inside that thread you will find links and articles that introduce you to this website, to BPD and tools/skills that help us respond better. browse around. find what speaks/works for you. https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship (https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship) please feel free to post as much as you feel comfortable with. the more you post the more the community here will come to learn your story. that will help folks reply specifically to you, your questions and your situation. I found that posting here, the simple act of writing out my thoughts, helped me organize my thinking and de-stress from it. I'll be looking for your reply in the coming days. 'ducks |