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Title: Should I, or Shouldn't I confront Post by: footballguy on January 26, 2023, 08:48:50 PM I suspect that my, currently ex, girlfriend has undiagnosed BPD.
I want to tell her that I think I know the reason why we keep going through a vicious cycle of breakup/makeup, but I am worried that by doing so it will make her hate me and never want to talk to me again. My questions to this amazing community is the following: Do I tell her I think I know why we keep having this relationship cycle? What would be the best approach for this? If any in the group has confronted their SO what was their reaction? Thank you, I'm really conflicted on this one. Title: Re: Should I, or Shouldn't I confront Post by: Turkish on January 26, 2023, 09:25:05 PM It's generally not good.
I told my ex that she had BPD and she later told me that it scared the crap out of her. Later, any suggestion that she get help was met with "you're throwing my sickness in my face!" She knew that she had an issue beyond her diagnosed depression and anxiety. https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-to-get-borderline-into-therapy 1.05 | Telling Someone You Think They Have BPD (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=76633.0) These might help provide perspective. Title: Re: Should I, or Shouldn't I confront Post by: SaltyDawg on January 26, 2023, 09:50:50 PM Telling my uBPDw she has BPD was not good. However, it did address her rages, suicide attempts, and to a lesser extent domestic violence. However, she has her T's fooled that she does not have BPD, and I have been directed by them not to use the following terms:
BPD borderline splitting triggering raging She is still splitting, albiet in a calmer voice, and slightly more rational, but not by much. My wife knew that there were issues, I highlighted those when addressing BPD, but her T's didn't want her to run [my assumption, not verified], so they told her that she wasn't BPD. Her T's gave me the rhetorical question of what would you do if your spouse said you were personality disordered? [They expected me to shut down, but...] I responded, I would go to a psychiatrist in order to get myself checked out and get a full psych eval done. The T, then asked if I was willing to get one on myself first, and I answered 'yes'. Then the T's ignored me and told me not to ask her again. Nor, am I allowed to have educational materials on BPD [paper form] either. |