BPDFamily.com

Hello,and thank for reading this.I recently broke up with my ex who has BPD.Twice I’ve been cheated on, and decided there won’t be a third time.I have been committed to No Contact for 2months now.When I found out she was lining up her next victim I left her.The day I left her her daughter left as well after years of dealing with her mothers abuse and drug addiction.I’m still in contact with her daughter,who is an awesome person and always viewed me as her dad. She is safe and happily living with a family member.The most heartbreaking part is she hasn’t even tried to contact her daughter or try to understand why she left.I was blamed for her daughter leaving by the ex,I had nothing to do with it.The ex needs to take responsibility for her daughter’s trauma and emotional abuse over the years.What kind of parent does this to a child? Who would ever ignore their child in their hour of need?How do help her daughter?I talk to her daughter every day and will stand by her because I adore her and will help her emotionally and financially.I just started paying for her daughters therapist.Has anyone else had a similar situation?

Hello and Welcome Karma.  :hi: I am happy you found us, but sorry for the circumstances that led to you seeking us out. Please feel welcome to continue to vent, share, and ask as many questions to your heart's content. I will check in again with you and be paying attention, but I will be waiting on the community and the rest of the team to jump in and support you. I'll be watching.

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-

Hello,and thank for reading this.I recently broke up with my ex who has BPD.Twice I’ve been cheated on, and decided there won’t be a third time.
My first dance with the uBPD/NPDexgf was exactly like that.  I went NC [except to recover my personal belonging and a vehicle that I paid for].

The most heartbreaking part is she hasn’t even tried to contact her daughter or try to understand why she left.I was blamed for her daughter leaving by the ex,I had nothing to do with it. The ex needs to take responsibility for her daughter’s trauma and emotional abuse over the years.What kind of parent does this to a child? Who would ever ignore their child in their hour of need?
An emotionally dysregulated and dysfunctional ones - just as she had no feelings for you when she cheated, there is a similar mechanism going on for her daughter too, sounds more NPD than BPD, even though both can coexist.

How do help her daughter?I talk to her daughter every day and will stand by her because I adore her and will help her emotionally and financially.I just started paying for her daughters therapist.Has anyone else had a similar situation?
You are helping in a very good way.  However, I am going to recommend :caution: as you can become emotionally attached to her daughter in potentially emotionally unhealthy ways.

My situation occurred in the late 1990's similar to yours.  The kids did not have cell phones in those days.  So, I did go NC after some financial support.

Do self-care, get yourself into individual therapy, to sort out your own emotions.

Also, ask questions here.  Vent.  Do what is best for you, as only you can take care of you.

Good for you for being so supportive of her, and helping her get therapy! It isn't right that they abandon/neglect people during their hour of need, my Dad does the same thing. They do it because they are basically emotionally distraught children, on an emotional level, and can't actually handle responsibility, and mostly think of themselves. It's a sad situation, hopefully her daughter will fare better than her, with the help of you and other people in her life.