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Anyone else feel like they are on a roller coaster of healing?

My relationship was certainly a horrible, roller coaster, nightmare of an abusive experience. I am thankful to be far away from him and almost divorced. I feel like myself again, but a broken version.

Though in the healing, I feel like I am on a baby roller coaster. Some days I am OK some days I am not. The PTSD is real.

Sigh, when does it get better, if ever? There feels like so much hard work to do but I’m here for it.

Hey yellowbutterfly,

I think the most important thing is to be kind to yourself, compassionate with yourself. You were treated really poorly, and although you want to be treated well, you might forget to do it. Healing is a long road, I've been doing it for years, and then new pain comes and new healing. Each time, you learn something, that makes you a stronger, better person. That's why it's worth it. It's hard to find comfort in that, when life is such a struggle. But if you're kind to yourself, it will be less so.

There's no knowing how your healing process will go. Will it last years, or months, or how long? They say to focus on one day at a time, but if you're frustrated, that's a small comfort. So be frustrated, be angry, be fed up, if that's how you feel, that will pass too. The fact that there's loss in life, is a dual edged blade. We lose something, and it sucks, but then, even the suffering can be lost too.

Sometimes we need something changed in our life to heal, sometimes we need our thinking to change, but many times, we just need a bed to rest on, a journal to talk to, a friend to be with or listen, or maybe even a distraction, to forget it all. But most of all, to make the right choices, we need to listen to our needs, our wants, and our feelings, and with a bit of common sense, you can get through this.

I hope you feel better, I'm sorry you've been through so much. I think we all have here.

Edit: But yeah, I feel like I am too, haha, it's a hot mess, I'm just glad I don't think my Dad is some sociopath, I can finally rest and heal.

YB of course it gets better. However, you truly have to continue to work at every day. You truly went through hell. There is no computer like command to erase and wipe or a magic wand that can just make it go like puff the magic dragon. Unfortunately, you suffered true torture. But guess what? You survived. You are still here. You got knocked down. Not out. You are never out of the fight and you will adapt and overcome. - That last bit you do not get to argue with me and that is an order missy! LOL  lol :) :( *) |iiii

Furthermore...view yourself like humpty dumpty. The old YOU...is dead and gone and a chapter turned over to learn from. Instead of viewing the humpty dumpty line of not being able to be put back together again take the stance of that you do not want to be put back together, but rather you want to build anew. It is time to build the version of YOU that you WANT to BECOME! You will build yourself into the best version of YOU that you can be.

Want Better, Expect Better, Do Better!

Cheers and Best Wishes!

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A roller coaster indeed. Today was a tough day for me. No particular reason, just found myself feeling low and thinking about some happy memories of my ex, which was painful. I reminded myself that just yesterday I was feeling peaceful and hopeful about my future. I don’t feel that way right now, but I know that this moment of pain will pass, and I will have more peaceful days ahead.

I certainly wish this ride was smoother, but am glad to be making progress.