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Title: I don’t know where to start Post by: Journey2023 on May 29, 2023, 11:43:56 PM Hi everyone,
My husband has suffered for many years with what we thought was bipolar disorder. A few recent difficult events for him seem to have triggered more extreme symptoms and I am quite positive that he has BPD. We have kids aged 10 and 11 and live in a small town. My husband takes out his extreme feelings of abandonment on me and frequently accuses me of not loving him or caring about him. He will sometimes text me over 100 texts in a day, while I am at work. He is unable to work and I am just so tired of holding everything together for our family. In the past few months his anger and dissatisfaction in his life have been directed at me and I am feeling manipulated and full of despair. I know I need to leave him for the health of myself and our kids but I don’t know how to start. Title: Re: I don’t know where to start Post by: ForeverDad on May 30, 2023, 03:58:59 PM Baby steps, if necessary. :hug:
Find an empathic and experienced counselor who is knowledgeable about acting-out mental health disorders. Then you can branch out to a counselor for your preteens. Very confidentially (do not inform spouse) seek out legal advice from a few family law attorneys. Probably you cannot use any lawyers your spouse has consulted with, although we aren't lawyers here. You don't have to hire anyone to get some inexpensive consultations. Their knowledge of local courts, processes and various strategies will clarify which type of paths forward are more practical for you. Title: Re: I don’t know where to start Post by: livednlearned on June 01, 2023, 05:59:07 PM I know it probably doesn't seem like there's a lot of good news when you're coping with a person who has these issues but the upside is that you found this site.
Therapy and books helped a lot, but this site has been such a life saving part of my journey to living a better life. There's so much collective wisdom here. Sometimes I didn't even know to ask the question but people here understand patterns that tend to go with personality disorders and offered advice that changed the course of my life. Are the recent difficult events temporary? How do you respond when he accuses you of not loving him? You already took the first step, which is to share with people here who understand. My ex became quite controlling and paranoid toward the end of our marriage. I remember someone asking me if I felt safe after I began looking for help. The question didn't make sense because I was so numb with dread and even then I didn't quite know what to call it. Glad you found us :hug: |