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Title: It's All Your Fault! - Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq Post by: Auspicious on February 16, 2009, 11:46:33 AM
Book Description Bill Eddy, a therapist turned attorney, is uniquely qualified to address how to handle conflicts with personality disordered individuals (or those acting like personality disordered individuals). He's written a very practical guide on the subject - It's All YOUR Fault! Eddy refers throughout the book to HCPs - High Conflict People. These are people who constantly get into conflicts with others, because they blame others and avoid responsibility. They find Targets of Blame - i.e. you - to wrongly blame for their problems. The process by which they do this is totally unconscious to them - they don't realize that they are thinking wrongly and sabotaging themselves by creating conflicts where none need exist. If that terminology seems unfamiliar, that's probably because it is :) Eddy finds ways to put complex psychological concepts into simple, clear, everyday language. This is one strong reason that this is a very helpful book for understanding BPD - especially at a time of crisis when a lot of the psychological language in other resources can be a bit bewildering. The book is structured as 12 "tips" for dealing with HCPs. Each tip has its own chapter, which explains the concept and how to take action. Part I: Understanding High Conflict People Tip #1: Don't Take Their Personal Attacks Personally Tip #2: Don't Give Them Negative Feedback Tip #3: Don't Bend Boundaries With Borderlines Tip #4: Don't Diss the Narcissists Tip #5: Don't Get Hooked by Histrionics Tip #6: Don't Get Conned by Antisocials Tip #7: Don't Be a Negative Advocate Part II: Managing High Conflict People Tip #8: Connect Using Your E.A.R. Tip #9: Analyze Your Realistic Options Tip #10: Respond Quickly to Misinformation Tip #11: Set Limits on Misbehavior Tip #12: Choose Your Battles Several examples are referenced throughout the book - "The Neighbor From Hell", "The Arrogant Coworker", and "The Blaming Brother". As you can see, the book is not primarily focused on intimate relationships, though it useful for understanding and dealing with them. One very nice feature is Eddy's obvious empathy for HCPs. He regularly cautions us not to label people, not to try to diagnose them, and to examine ourselves for signs of high conflict thinking. While he does not shy away from referring to personality disorders (and he addresses their varieties where relevant) his focus is on dealing with behaviors, not labels. Title: Re: It's All Your Fault! - Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq Post by: WinterSolstice on May 12, 2009, 04:14:40 PM Great book. I found myself not wanting to but the book down, could not wait to turn the page to see what useful information lay ahead. In a couple of weeks I will pick up the book again and this time read a little slower and mark it up. Mr. Eddy has another book on High Conflict Personalities which is next on my reading list.
Title: Re: It's All Your Fault! - Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq Post by: DragoN on May 17, 2009, 08:35:59 AM Excerpt Eddy refers throughout the book to HCPs - High Conflict People. These are people who constantly get into conflicts with others, because they blame others and avoid responsibility. They find Targets of Blame - i.e. you - to wrongly blame for their problems. The process by which they do this is totally unconscious to them - they don't realize that they are thinking wrongly and sabotaging themselves by creating conflicts where none need exist. <--- HCP... .at times. The mirror is a terrible thing. *sigh* It would be nice if some of these books were available via download format. Getting books here is over the top expensive. Title: Re: It's All Your Fault! - Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq Post by: BroiledBunny on September 17, 2012, 04:15:39 PM I'm sorry is this the correct book?
www.amazon.com//gp/offer-listing/0981509037/sr=/qid=/?condition=new&tag=bf-ns-search-20 $600 or $1400 new? For a paperback? Seriously? Title: Re: It's All Your Fault! - Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq Post by: Auspicious on September 18, 2012, 09:41:48 AM Try here:
www.unhookedbooks.com/It-s-All-Your-Fault-p/book104.htm |