BPDFamily.com

Has anyone had success in using irreverence during a discussion? Irreverent responses are actually a part of DBT.

When I heard Marsha Linehan speak recently, she mentioned that irreverence is not just a style - it helps the BPD sufferer by distracting them and forcing them to think. Irreverence is unexpected. The point is the get them out of the brain's amygdala (emotional center) and into the prefrontal cortex, which puts the breaks on emotion.

The classic example of irreverence is:

Patient: "I'm going to kill myself."

Therapist: "I thought we agreed that you were not going to quit therapy."

I'm not talking about cracking jokes here. I'm talking about serious situations where we've had to adapt.

Irreverence, huh?  WOW! 

If validation is tough for people to execute properly, irreverence (to me, at least) seems like something that should only be attempted by professionals.  I think it's a razor-thin line between a comment being perceived as irreverent and one that's perceived as sarcastic/mocking.

The example you gave IS irreverent, but it's also using humor to defuse a situation... .again, I'd find it tough to pull off. 

Yeah, I'd tread very carefully ... .I love sharing humor with my wife, and normally she does too, but anytime I've tried it in a tense situation ... .urgh.

I wonder if a therapist using "irreverence" is a different dynamic, because of the therapist's position of "power"?  Was Linehan advising family members and significant others to try this? Or was she advising therapists?  Now I'm curious.

cant see that helping

reverse it:

you: I feel suicidal

them: great what color felt do you want in the coffin?


I only see that as inflammatory

dunno see it as more sounds "apathetic" to the situation and "wouldnt try this at home"

You make an important point, Aus, that I missed in my eagerness to share.


She was speaking to therapists. There are some skilled colleagues I have who can do it, but it is admittedly really hard. Sigh, I wish I chose a different career recently!  :)

In any event, I looked back at my notes from her speech at the conference, and some quotes that I wrote down:

"We process more deeply information that is not expected."

"Irreverence is not a style... .it is a method of behavior change."

":)istraction is one of the most effective emotion regulation strategies."

My step daughter who came down the other day in a huff and has been dodgy for a few days announced " I am angry at the world " To which I countered " it probably deserves it " This worked suprisingly well an she snapped back to "normal " fairly quickly it might be worth remebering this