Off her meds... again.

[insideout098]

How can I keep my GF on her meds? She is the most wonderful person in the world when she's on her schedule, but I can see the slippage within a few hours of abstinence. This is killing me; killing us emotionally. I  could use some input here. Thanks. 

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[maxsterling]

That's a tough one, because you really can't force her to be on meds, and any kind of coercion in this area and she will likely push back in the other way, and resent you for being controlling.

What meds does she take?  Does she give you a reason for not wanting to take them?

[I-am-titanium]

You simply can't.

[an0ught]

Hi insideout098,

consistent self management behavior is super hard for a pwBPD and often they are not the only one getting hit by the fallout 

maxsterling has given an important advice - don't push. Certainly don't push without knowing more and be better skilled. A first step would be increasing understanding - preferably without using "why" since that word tends to trigger - "what" is somewhat better but also there a lot depends on our tone of voice. You'll find the workshops on validation useful to navigate that area.

Your first goal should be simply understanding her problem without judging her and without pushing her. This gives you a basis to move forward. Also the more she explains her troubles the less these troubles will trouble her. There is a chance that she behaves more consistently once she feels you truly got what causes her to not take the meds.

[Notwendy]

Taking medication is hard, because it is a constant reminder that you need the medicine. When you push for her to take it, then it reinforces that message " I know there is something wrong with you".

I agree with not pushing. Do you- or anyone else you know- take medicine? One way to diffuse this is to make it more neutral- like taking medicine for anything else. If your wife was taking an antibiotic, it would not have the same meaning to her.

"Honey, I love you as you are, and taking medicine doesn't change that for me"

"Thank you for taking care of yourself"

"I will do something to take care of myself too- eat better, exercise, and so on"

"Buddy, at the office told me his doctor put him on medicine for cholesterol, it's great that we have so many ways to be our better selves"

[Loosestrife]

I would not pay too much attention to it as she has to take responsibility for herself. From personal experienc, the more I say about it, the more stubborn she gets. If she becomes difficult than you have to think about if you can be around her when she hasn't taken her meds and communicate that.