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Think About It... Some members think of "triangulation" as a dysfunctional behavior perpetrated on them by a person with BPD. And why not - this is how we often see triangles when we are in them and the '"odd man out"! However, seeing it this way is exactly the opposite of what we want to do to end the drama.. ~ Skippy
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Author Topic: BPD and child-like emotions  (Read 4407 times)
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Gender: Female
Posts: 123

« on: January 02, 2010, 02:34:04 PM »

This is something I was recalling yesterday and I wanted to see if anyone else experienced this with his/her BPD partner.  For the 20 years that I have known my uBPDexh, he would very often act childish about things like being hungry or tired - so much so that he would nearly throw a tantrum if he didn't have an opportunity to eat as soon as he was hungry or would get mean and nasty when he would get over-tired.  I don't know why I was so surprised by this childish behavior each and every time.  I can't tell you how many vacations, family outings, shopping trips, etc. have been made miserable because of his "tantrums".  Would any "normal" adult act this way?  Is this typical of a BPD adult?  I know that their emotions are on a child-like level, but this was just bizarre to me. 
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Posts: 106

« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2010, 02:49:49 PM »

mine was the same ...she ruined every special time, holiday or get together with her tantrums. it's like they just can't be... they can't just let things be ok . they can not except that things are not always perfect. it's a sickness.
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Posts: 213

« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2010, 04:07:59 PM »

Yeah I can third, that motion. My exBPDgf, we have S5, he is more intellectual than she is sometimes. Sometimes I just have to laugh at the absurdity and walk away or de-ride her about her behaviour now(She does not like this, I do not give a fig!)

If she acts like a child, I will treat her so.

Reckon due to the dysfunctional and abusive family background, BPD are robbed of childhood, and this inner child appears in moments of stress and anxiety, as adults.
All members still incontact with their partner should learn to use the basic relationship tools to better manage the day to day interactions.
If you are evaluating a decision to stay or leave, please post on Conflicted and Deciding
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Gender: Male
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 639

« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2010, 04:11:02 PM »

It is interesting that you bring this up.  Mine gets very upset if she is hungry.  It is bizarre.  I figured it had something to do with her family and being deprived of food by her mother or some other food-related issue.  But it does make sense - it could be that these people simply have not developed as much as the rest of us.  Hunger is simply not dealt with like an adult.
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Gender: Female
Posts: 169

« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2010, 04:28:25 PM »

Unfortunately, I see such HUGE issues around food and meals with my uBPDDIL.  Not only does she want immediate gratification ... there are 3 kids and a newborn in the mix that make her behavior even more bizarre.  I have actually watched her eat before anyone else (kids included), take larger portions leaving less to go around, and for some reason, shopping for food is such a production. She has very little capacity to nourish others so cooking a meal is not on her priority list.  I suspect the "everything revolves around me" is at play.
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« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2010, 06:07:03 PM »

We have a similar issue. I have been able to discuss it with my pwBPD as a sensitivity to low blood sugar. He is beginning to hear me when I say,' how is your blood sugar',' have you eaten lately'...or I keep snacks and food with me when we are away in the car and offer them up if he hasn't eaten in a while. It is beginning to pay off, avoid tantrums and bring awareness to the blow ups if he hasn't eaten. If I don't keep him fed he eats a lot fo sugar which also is a problem.

I'm not alway great aroudn food myslef but My problemis I use it to selgf medicate and eat too much!
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Gender: Male
Posts: 202

« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2010, 07:09:59 PM »

Oh boy does this ring true!  If she was not fed at the first moment of hunger (all 100 pounds of her) she was going to die and it was my fault for depriving her of food.

But better:  Whenever we were on a road trip, she would wait until we passed an exit on a long stretch to say that she had to use a bathroom.  Then she would claim that she told me ten miles back (before the last exit).  The next thirty miles would be hell!  I thought that I was being negligent until I started proving to myself that she was lying about telling me before the exit (she had a penchant for pulling this stunt when a sign would indicate "Next Exit 32 miles...)  It was easier to console the children on this one!

We nons get blamed even for their own bodily functions!
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Two years out and getting better all the time!

« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2010, 07:49:21 PM »

Ditto on all the posts about being hungry. The older my uBPDw gets, the younger she acts when it comes to hunger. I work out of a home office, and her office is adjacent to mine. I can be busily at work and she will pipe up "I'm hungry!". I'm thinking "yeah, so what? make yourself something to eat." She'll sit there and let herself get hungrier and hungrier. Sometimes she will just skip eating because nobody catered to her, then for the next meal she will be ravenous, and crabby as well. If I make something for lunch, I have to pass through her office to reach mine. She will always stop me and say "What do you have there?", "Can I have a bite?" It reminds me when the kids were little... they always wanted a bite of what you had.


"If your're going through hell, keep going..." Winston Churchill
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Posts: 2513

Living for the I Am....

« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2010, 01:49:42 AM »

Mine was the same way about hunger. He also complained a lot about body aches, pains and sores but then pretended he was macho at the same time. When he had a serious injury he wouldn't say a word-just suffered through the pain.

Very strange.

C12P21 "and she lived happily ever after.."
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Gender: Female
Posts: 334

« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2010, 08:52:17 AM »

Yes mine did this too about food and sleep. She got quite nasty if she didn't sleep or eat when she wanted to. I always thought it was me being selfish when I used to say can't you wait a while?
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