To be more honest about the situation...my faith in myself and humanity itself has been pretty badly shaken.
Many people have gone through a rough patch in life will know that sometimes multiple things go bad clumping around the same time period and that is the times a dysfunctional and/or toxic family really comes back to haunt you!
I read this recently on staying positive during a Long Job Search:www.pongoresume.com/blogPosts/698/10_tips_for_staying_positive_in_a_long_job_search.cfm
...the most apt quote is:7. Minimize your exposure to "BMWs."
BMWs = Btchers, Moaners, and Whiners! When you're a little fragile emotionally, such negativity will be poisonous to you and your job search.
That would likely include most people's families on here and definitely all of mine. That is the paradox, but I will just have to put up the boundaries I need to and get some space.
After a few days of quiet...my head is clearing up and I am getting aligned and positive again. I cannot say I accomplished a lot in the last 3-5 days, but I decided and accepted a lot that should take some bricks off.
I know that my fear
has been holding me back after being bullied and beaten down in multiple areas. I think it is likely that my counselor is actually either an NPD or psychopath...I postponed my session for 2 weeks...and will likely fire him then.
I am not the only person to get tired of dealing with PD people both personally and professionally, but they seem to have a grip on much of society at all levels right now which is troubling, but explains much.
I think once you are better able to detect them and also detect them detecting you...it is both eye opening and dismaying. I cannot completely avoid the possibility of my former bosses(the bullies/mob) bad mouthing me, but I have so many people who think well of me I need to focus on them.
The hardest part is much like distortion campaigns within our families...corporate psychopaths or NPD's that are "successful" are brutal and talented. They burned bridges I had into two companies even before I left. Say a prayer or make a wish for me as I bunker down and attempt to move forward.
The most unfair aspect of it is that in interviews a job candidate should never say anything bad about their former bosses, but contrary to laws or legal agreements...bully bosses or mobs will gladly burn you with made up baloney...whether old or new...to prove they were right!
The facts would prove me correct, but many who think they know these people do not know of their dark side and would find it hard to believe. My new hope is to work for a direct competitor and deliver success helping beat them as an ultimate win-win!