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Think About It... Many individuals fail in attempts to detach from abusive relationships because they leave suddenly and impulsively, without proper planning, and without resources - and the emotions on both sides "amp" up. The best exit is one where you are boring and resigned. ~ Joseph Carver, PhD.
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Author Topic: Statistics on BPD relationships and divorce?  (Read 7439 times)
mermaid8
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« on: February 28, 2012, 09:47:40 PM »

After coming across some photos of my ex and my replacement...I had a bit of a setback last week. But I am doing better. Each time the wound is re-opened I seem to come out of it and heal a little bit more. Granted, a lot of tears were shed and it knocked me for a loop since my ex told me that "he didn't want anyone else" when he broke up with me...and that "he just couldn't be a boyfriend"...  

Anyway, of course the photo's look like they are just soo happy together and in the honeymoon phase which I admit is hard to see! But I am trying my best to understand that the r/s will likely take the same path down the same road that mine did. And this is what helps me to cope.

While thinking about the "probable" demise of their r/s which is on borrowed time, as I would like to think, I was wondering if there were any valid statistics on the "divorce rate" or "failure rate" of BPD relationships?

I have read in several places that the divorce rate or probability of a Bi Polar relationship failing is 90%. Just wondering if there were figures that documented BPD relationships as well?
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modelc
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« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2012, 09:56:32 PM »

www.BPD.about.com/od/forfamilyandfriends/a/BPDmarriage.htm



35% from what I've read...this is just a site a saw it on recently
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mermaid8
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« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 10:06:10 PM »

Wow, quite surprising actually! Thank you for that link. I wasn't expecting those statistics...I figured the statistics would have been closer to those of Bipolar.
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modelc
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« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2012, 10:11:52 PM »

Yah... I was kinda surprised too because with all of the research and how well known bipolar is...the treatment is more common so you would think there would be more success rates.   
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beyondbelief
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« Reply #4 on: February 29, 2012, 01:49:59 AM »

I would be very skeptical about these kinds of statistics.  Of the millions of divorces that occur each year many of those people suffer from BPD and don't know it. What likely happened is they did a census of people who have been diagnosed and missed the vast majority.  I would bet that most people who have been divorced many times suffer from a mental issue or are attracted to those who are.

Eddy notes that only 10% of divorces turn into a custody battle and the court system is clogged with people suffering from some PD or another.  Since it is estimated that roughly 10% of the population suffers from a PD, I doubt it is a coincidence.  I am not saying everyone in a custody battle has a PD nor am I saying that everyone with a PD gets involved in a custody battle however I would be willing to bet there is a considerable overlap of the two sets.
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Clearmind
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« Reply #5 on: February 29, 2012, 03:31:29 AM »

80% of statistics are made up  wink ~ and I would agree I am always sceptical about probabilities let alone stats.

I only need to think of the divorce rate for 'non' BPD r/s...too many anomalies ~ not all pwBPD may be diagnosed would put a major ? over any stats.
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modelc
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« Reply #6 on: February 29, 2012, 01:29:10 PM »

Especially in BPD cases because so many of them really aren't diagnosed or are diagnosed incorrectly.  But I would assume this is a statistic based on what they can prove.  To be honest, I think it all depends on the Non BPD anyway...

I know I would have stayed with my BPDH and done everything I could to help, support and work through the disorder.  Not every Non BPD would or could do that and then you have the situations like I do have in which my BPDH is the one ending the marriage because of his own emotional instability and his desire to imagine that the grass is always greener.  It never turns out that way, but he truly believes it will.

Which is also why I think bipolar statistics are so much different.  That disorder is easier diagnosed and I'm wondering how many diagnosed with bipolar are actually BPD instead.
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mermaid8
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« Reply #7 on: February 29, 2012, 06:43:58 PM »

Thank you for your thoughts, everyone...it does make more sense considering how many pwBPD are undiagnosed.

I came across more information on BPD diagnosis from the link that modelc provided above. In it it explains that in T, BPD traits don't often arise (or at least not during the beginning of T) because many of them are linked directly with close/intimate relationships. Therefore, if a pwBPD bails on T too soon, which we all know they usually do...those behaviors are not yet uncovered and may go undiagnosed. This truly helped me understand why so many go undiagnosed and this seemed to make a lot of sense!
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Clearmind
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« Reply #8 on: February 29, 2012, 06:55:19 PM »

I would agree with that Mermaid. Bonding is what triggers BPD behaviors. Many IMHO may go un-treated for this reason.

To my knowledge a revised DSM is in tow which is less black and white than DSM 1V in the sense it refers to degree of 'impairment' rather than the 1-9 criteria. It confused me at first and I now see clearly how this may assist with dx'ing/level of treatment required etc.
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mermaid8
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« Reply #9 on: February 29, 2012, 07:14:03 PM »

I would agree with that Mermaid. Bonding is what triggers BPD behaviors. Many IMHO may go un-treated for this reason.

To my knowledge a revised DSM is in tow which is less black and white than DSM 1V in the sense it refers to degree of 'impairment' rather than the 1-9 criteria. It confused me at first and I now see clearly how this may assist with dx'ing/level of treatment required etc.

Regarding the revised DSM information, Clearmind...My ex has 8 of the 9 criteria but he is still high functioning. His struggles are kept very hidden and he is literally tortured internally. I would honestly say that not even his family members or close friends have a clue as to the extent of his "issues". I believe to this day, that I am the only one that he allowed to get so close to see him without the "mask"...And that in effect is why he has to also get rid of me.
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