Feeling desperately lonely

[really]

So moved into new place today.    Was staying with family after returning to my home country

Sitting in an empty apartment, another Saturday alone.

Depression has gripped me

Too much time to think

Just before breakup with my ex I thought I was finally getting se stability in my life. 

This next period of living alone is going to be really tough.   All my mates are married and have kids or kids on the way.  The thought of trusting again scares the hell out of me. 

Prayer exercise and finding every possible distraction is the only way I will get through this.

[GreenMango]

   You can do this. 

[FollowingBliss]

I know how you feel!  Every time I take mine back, I return to square one (within a very short period of time).  Things may feel their darkest now, but please know it won't feel like this forever.  We are all in the same boat here, and will get through this together.    One day I hope we will even wonder wth we saw in any of them.  

Hang in there, and keep posting!  

[HarmKrakow]

I'm in the same field brother. Alone on Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday. To much time to think and then the tears come flying by and realizing what you once had a few months or years ago, has now changed.

It ~ing hurts ...

But the only way to continue is the way forward. Not backwards.

[Wooddragon]

Me too - even when around others I feel that way - I have lost my best friend - who turned out to be an imaginary friend. So it's not the absence of him that is making me feel lonely - its the realisation that none of it was real & now I don't even have the illusion. It's the emotional equivalent of living in the matrix... .  

[Surnia]

A big   for all of you. It is hard.

And at the risk of repeating myself: Little tasks can help. Throwing some things away. Walking. Exercising. Learning something new. Taking pictures and post them on a community. Our brain doesn't like to be bored. And many of us are so used to be busy with the drama of our relationship that often there is a void do fill when the rs is gone!

Hang in there, you can do it!

[gina louise]

day by day it gets better and better and easier. you WILL think of them less often and with less pain.

it's a Loss even if they were horrid to you-at one point it was Very Good.

I am 3 months out and divorcing- a spot I never felt I'd be in a million years. HUSBAND initiated the divorce and threw me out.

it was brutal. You will mourn and grieve. you will feel awful and alone and lonely.

My advice? Journal. Write it out. Look deeply at your FOO (family of origin) and how they treated you growing up. A lot of FOO treatment makes it easier for us to get tangled up with a disordered person-since we usually have one or two in our pasts.

Once you identify your FOO issues you will be less likely to replay them.

You will be pained, shocked, stunned , enlightened and resolved... .  and you will get better, slowly. the only way out is through. 

 GL

[Changed4safety]

In a similar situation--moved 1,000 miles away, don't know anyone but one friend here, far from the main city, alone with me and the cat, and the cat has been diagnosed with cancer.  I reached out on my FB, here, and to my friends back where I used to live.  I've had several losses, not just this one, in the last year and a half, and I have to kind of recreate my life every day.  It's hard, but knowing others are dealing with it helps.  I love all the suggestions about small things, and am trying to do them.  Keep posting here!   

[numenal]

First of all, congratulations! You got out 

Don't despair. I know it hurts and it's really hard right now. My big suggestion is therapy. Your trust is shattered; that will take time and work with a professional to restore. If money is a problem, look for low cost or free counseling. (Though you most likely need a T experienced with those you have suffered through a r/s with someone who has BPD, it can help to have someone trained just to talk to).

It's important to tend to the issues that brought you into that r/s to begin with. Only then can you move healthily forward. I'm really glad you made it out.