High conflict couple book?

[coasterhusband]

I know "high conflict couple" has been a suggested read on this site, but is that book good to read together or suggest to a uPWBPD?

I thought I'd read elsewhere on the forum that it was basically a book about BPD without mentioning "BPD". 

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[emotionaholic]

I'm not sure yet if it is a good book.  I was hoping it was going to be in my mailbox when I got home today.  I know both the authors specialize in BPD and have been told it is a good way to address the issues around BPD without mentioning it.  I look forward to reading it.

[waverider]

Depends on your RS and how open your partner is to conflict resolution. It is not a book about BPD specifically,but simply High conflict relationships in general. So you will not be "letting the cat out of the bag" if you share it.

Emphaisis is about how we interact with each other, not how one partner copes with a disordered partner. It is unlikely a pwBPD will take a lot of the ideas on board in the middle of dysregulation, but it could soothe a lot of the interactions before they get to that stage. It will be definitely be of value to you.

Review here The High Conflict Couple

You will find lots of useful book reviews on the book review board

Book Reviews

[Chosen]

I have read the book and find it helpful.  I read it alone and find that you can benefit from reading it alone.

However, if I remember correctly, your wife is not diagnosed, and doesn't think anything is wrong with her.  So she may likely think that you suggesting to read the book together means you want to put the blame on her (black & white thinking, remember?). 

Unless she's at the stage where she thinks there are conflicts in the relationship but doesn't know how to solve them (even if she is still refusing to take responsibility as yet), I think offering her the book may backfire.

[waverider]

Before you share any literature it is always best to vet it first

[briefcase]

I've read the book and found it helpful. It does not mention BPD and it has a great section on validation.  You should read it first, and then decide whether its something your partner might be open to reading.