1 year + NC

[spark2]

Hi everyone.

I know the tone of this board is generally darker and I remember the time 12+ months ago when I would frequent the forum.

It was a painful and confusing time when I was here.

After time and as my NC continued, I let go of reading this forum or thinking about the situation or even her. This forum was amazing when I needed something to do or someplace to go to vent or deal with energy produced when my emotions were confused. This forum was instrumental in keeping me from dealing with her, seeking her out or responding to her at all. I have been a rock with the help of the forum early on.

There have been a few assumed reach outs on her behalf, and a few waves of her drama or instances of her bashing me to others with extreme made up stories and lies made its way into my life. Each and every instance was ignored and as time went on the events didn't even strike up any kind of emotional response within me at all. It also helped that I am surrounded by intelligent people who could see thru her drama. Last I heard was a story from someone who lives local to her where she lost control in a public place and violently raged on someone. So glad I don't have her in my life at all now. I am very thankful.

I have dated a few girls since then - nothing completely serious but my boundaries and personal patrol of the relationships are better than ever. The time I spend in relationships now is more mutual in benefit and less me sacrificing my energy to feed someone elses needs.

My life has also turned on to a great new chapter where I have reached heightened financial independance and I am so glad to be here free to enjoy it all and my time on my agenda and not tied down with an albatross around my neck and someone elses out of check issues and being abused. Wasting away with a BPD parasite is not what anyone deserves after years of hard work.

As you are pulling out of this - think about your life and the good things in your future - then focus on experiencing and enjoying them without the parasite in your life. You have been hurt and dragged down as of now - all you can do is control your own path moving forward. Have your own life-party and take him / her off of the guest list.

I think I realized I was there long after I even bothered to think about this forum or visiting it. You kinda naturally phase out of it as you get busy with other stuff in your emotional and thought landscape.

Looking back on it all I also realize that only the people here, who have experienced it for themselves can ever understand what it is like to survive BPD encounter. Even now when people ask me to tell them the story and I do - I can tell they just don't get it the way I and the people on this forum do.

I wish everyone success whatever that may be.

[dangoldfool]

spark2, Thanks for sharing this post. I'm encouraged that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. I hope to reach it soon. Peace

[Validation78]

Hi Spark2!

Thanks for sharing your experience! It helps others to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

We say to ourselves and each other, give it time, it gets better, and it's important to know, how true that is!

Best Wishes and continued growth on your healing journey!

Val78