Hi guys! I see lots of new names on here... .
Anyway - I am back from Africa! I had the most amazing time. For those of you who don't know, I needed to do something, so in my holidays from work, I went over to Africa to volunteer in an orphanage and teach in a school.
Wow.
I was surrounded by happiness and love. 20 volunteers all living in a house together, from 13 different countries, a range of ages. Some beautiful, beautiful souls.
I made great friends. I made a bond with the kids.
I was so far away from my every day life that I rarely thought about her the whole time
She popped into my mind occasionally, but not for long, and I was soon distracted by something else. So what did I learn... . ?
a) I couldn't have done this had we gotten married like planned. So this helped take the sting away.
b) There are many other amazing people out there. Ok, so none that were gay and who there was a possible relationship with, but it made me not panic - there ARE wonderful other people out there, who are genuinely good and decent. My time will come.
c) I got a crush on a girl who worked there! Yes! I never have crushes, and never thought I'd have an interest in anyone, ever. She was straight, and even if she wasn't, I wouldn't have wanted anything to happen. But it was nice to have a little crush
Gave me something to look forward to each day, getting to see her!
I really did have a wonderful time. I needed the change of scenery so much! It was the best gift I could give myself.
Now I'm home, I sense the darkness and sadness creeping in once more, but I know I CAN be free of it, the past month has taught me that! So there is hope. I'm keeping busy.
Just thought I'd give you guys an update. I don't plan to be around here too much, or I'll start over-thinking it all again. But just in case any of you wondered how I was getting on, I thought I'd stop by.
Sending lots of love to all,
Mango Flower x
