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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Personal singles ad of a "lonely child" getting divorced from a BPDw  (Read 360 times)
samthewiss
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« on: October 24, 2013, 07:34:08 AM »

Please read this in the spirit of good humor

Hi, I am single, white, 6'2" tall, slim, with a good job, and 2 great kids.

I am getting divorced from a BPD wife, we went through the cycles of idealization, and devaluation, and now she moved on to the next replacement and i am in pain and lonely. 

I know that since i have co-dependent abandonment issues that i hate being alone and am having a hard time. So i figured that instead of healthy grieving and making myself whole on my own, i will enter a relationship full of hugs, and smiles. This way, i can sooth myself and feel good again.

If you also would like to compromise and not truly want to be happy and whole, please contact me. Who need something real when we can close our eyes and make believe we are ok.

Have a great day.
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samthewiss
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« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2013, 08:39:40 AM »

I hope no one takes this ad seriously.

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willbegood
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Posts: 120


« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2013, 08:54:17 AM »

I just signed up to a dating site and copy and pasted into my profile!  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Escaped 30.Sept.2013
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« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2013, 08:59:16 AM »

So i figured that instead of healthy grieving and making myself whole on my own, i will enter a relationship full of hugs, and smiles. This way, i can sooth myself and feel good again.

Well, isn't it lucky you've got a whole forum with tons of us who will gladly give you all the hugs and smiles you want!

 Smiling (click to insert in post)  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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fiddlestix
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« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2013, 10:41:28 AM »

So much truth in humor!  Very clever, sam!  I am currently resisting jumping into a new woman's arms (and bed). I am very fond of her, but I want to get strong first.  I want to know that I am not using her just to soothe my broken heart. 

Thanks for the laughs, and truth, sam!

Fiddle
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ts919
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Relationship status: married
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« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2013, 10:46:15 AM »

Hilarious!  And very spot on... .

I'm currently in the same boat as fiddlestix - need to get strong first. 

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Lao Tzu
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Posts: 213


« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2013, 10:52:21 AM »

     This was me 30 years ago when my pwBPD deleted me.  I went on to marry a perfectly objection-less young lady whose best feature was that since we didn't really feel all that strongly about each other, we knew we could have a very drama-free r/s (she had her own history of abuse motivating her).  Neither of us realized this dynamic at the time, of course, but that's the way it was.  So, after 25 years of marriage with absolutely no fights ever (and no sex for the last half), I'm pretty old and looking to try again for another r/s between the two extremes. Don't make my mistake.  You have the advantage of understanding what is going on psychologically in your relationships, so you can plot a course that makes sense in your life.  

LT
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Turkish
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12104


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2013, 10:52:50 AM »

Please read this in the spirit of good humor

Hi, I am single, white, 6'2" tall, slim, with a good job, and 2 great kids.

I am getting divorced from a BPD wife, we went through the cycles of idealization, and devaluation, and now she moved on to the next replacement and i am in pain and lonely. 

I know that since i have co-dependent abandonment issues that i hate being alone and am having a hard time. So i figured that instead of healthy grieving and making myself whole on my own, i will enter a relationship full of hugs, and smiles. This way, i can sooth myself and feel good again.

If you also would like to compromise and not truly want to be happy and whole, please contact me. Who need something real when we can close our eyes and make believe we are ok.

Have a great day.

The sad thing is that you will probably get serious replies from either co-dependents, or BPDs. Funny stuff though! If only to us :^\
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
rags_and_feathers
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Posts: 54



« Reply #8 on: October 24, 2013, 08:51:33 PM »

Very funny, spot on, and actually rather informative... .as I realized that I'd be tempted to reply to an ad like that, thinking I could soothe the loneliness and pain... .wow!  That was an eye opener.  Thanks for the chuckles, and the well-needed whack to the head, too!
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