I hate that I feel this way

[redkong]

I am glad I ended things with my ex BPDgf, my head knows this firmly.  My heart still struggles.  My life has been upended and temporarily derailed as I deal with this.  I know I'll get my act together,  but right now I'm still struggling.

I hate that I feel this way, am not proud of it, but I wish she were struggling too.  I wish her life was also derailed.   It doesn't seem that this is the case.  This kindof pisses me off - she came into my life, threw it into chaos, and now is moving on with little consequence.  This is hard to take, makes me angry.  I need to learn how to deal with this.

[LetMEgoPLS]

I am glad I ended things with my ex BPDgf, my head knows this firmly.  My heart still struggles. 

Same here. I know I HAVE to make this break, but at the same time my heart is breaking so much. My "perfect family" dream will never be. That's what's hardest for me... .Knowing the one thing that I've always wanted will never be... Instead I'm now a single mom in hopes that one day, I'll find a father figure for my little ones.

This is hard.

[Perfidy]

Redkong... That seems to be the norm here. Really sucks for a while but it does get better. Slowly for me. Slow and steady... Low and slow.

I have noticed that in these sick relationships it doesn't really seem to matter who ended them. The result is depression, sadness, grieving for the non. New life, happiness(precieved) and good times for the disordered. Weird

The grieving and sadness are healthy. It's the normal human reaction to the end of a relationship. We're processing a loss. You are on the right track RK.