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Author Topic: Ex now works a half mile away from my work  (Read 339 times)
Trick1004
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 132


« on: January 21, 2014, 01:10:34 AM »

Hey all,

Been awhile since I've posted on here.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but found out yesterday that my ex has within the last month or so started a new job less than half a mile down the street from where I work.

She left last May, I have been NC since early August. The ex sent me a miss you text in early November which I ignored.

I live in a fairly large city and work 25 or so miles from where I live, assuming she is still living with her parents she is even farther out. I figured work was a place I would never have the possibility of running into her. I found myself today dreading the possibility of seeing her in traffic, or going to lunch and running into her.

Of all the damn possible places she could work she finds something just down the street from me? Kind of creeps me out.

Trick
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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2014, 03:41:39 AM »

Hi Trick

This sucks. I would be confused and scared too about the possibility to run into her casually. I would be pissed about loosing the feeling of work as a safety place.

Should this happen you running into her - what are your worst case thoughts?
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
Trick1004
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 132


« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2014, 02:42:48 AM »

Thanks Surnia,

I was so wound up on Monday, I didn't go to work till about noon. Just feeling sick to my stomach of the thought of her just down the street.

I've calmed down a lot since then, if it happens it happens. If I run into her and she approaches me, guess I'll just say hi, gotta go, and leave.

The hard part for me is:

-She comes by my house (this happened a couple of times), it's easy to just ignore or tell her to leave.

-She calls, texts, emails, again easy to ignore.

-If I run into her at work while I'm at lunch, that's neutral ground. I can ignore and walk away but I don't have as much control over the situation.

Man, I just felt safe from seeing her up at work, turns out I'm not.

I honestly don't know how some of the posters can handle with continual contact with the ex; either through having kids, still living with them, working at the same company, must be so much more difficult to get out. Been six months since I've seen her and the thought of running into her still ties me in knots.  

Trick
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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2014, 01:48:01 AM »

I've calmed down a lot since then, if it happens it happens. If I run into her and she approaches me, guess I'll just say hi, gotta go, and leave.

I think this is a good approach. The first time you will probably feel a lot of adrenalin. You will survive.

Hang in there, trick.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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