Saw him tonight... making some progress with detachment

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Grabbed a bite to eat with a friend tonight (no carbs this time Arn , well, okay a lil bread), and who's car was in the restaurant parking lot?  Had that momentary sudden intake of breath when I spotted it. 

I went in, scoped it out, found him with an older woman and a child.  He had his back to me so he didn't see me.

My friend and I sat in a different section so I didn't have a run-in, but even if I had, you know what?  I was okay.  He can't charm me, entrance me anymore.   I know too much.

So maybe I'm making some progress in the detachment/depersonalization area.  Weird that I saw him, though!  Even though we live in a small city and he only lives about 10 minutes away, we never run into each other.  He's almost never out in my neck of the woods.

I just need to keep working on myself.  I want to be totally detached, so that I don't even react when/if I see his car.  And I especially don't want to be wondering if that woman is his newest r/s.  Ugh.  He sure as hell isn't thinking about me!

[Ceide]

Grabbed a bite to eat with a friend tonight (no carbs this time Arn , well, okay a lil bread), and who's car was in the restaurant parking lot?  Had that momentary sudden intake of breath when I spotted it. 

I went in, scoped it out, found him with an older woman and a child.  He had his back to me so he didn't see me.

My friend and I sat in a different section so I didn't have a run-in, but even if I had, you know what?  I was okay.  He can't charm me, entrance me anymore.   I know too much.

So maybe I'm making some progress in the detachment/depersonalization area.  Weird that I saw him, though!  Even though we live in a small city and he only lives about 10 minutes away, we never run into each other.  He's almost never out in my neck of the woods.

I just need to keep working on myself.  I want to be totally detached, so that I don't even react when/if I see his car.  And I especially don't want to be wondering if that woman is his newest r/s.  Ugh.  He sure as hell isn't thinking about me!

[seeking balance]

So maybe I'm making some progress in the detachment/depersonalization area. 

Don't be surprised if you might have a bit of a hangover tomorrow on it... . the first time can be fine on the surface but a few buttons may be pushed - it will pass quickly enough if it happens.

You seem pretty calm -good for you

[Moonie75]

How long have you been out of the relationship Ceide?

[Ceide]

Hey Moonie - Here's a brief history:  We were together for a year when he suddenly left.  He contacted me several times over the next 2 years and I ignored him.  Then last summer, he came back around, (literally rode his motorcycle up my driveway when I was out in the yard) wanting to talk.  I didn't know anything about BPD at the time, so I didn't really know what was going on.  We reconnected.  Then two weeks into that, he ends it to go back to the girl he had been with two weeks before he rode up my driveway.  He wanted to be my "friend", which I also ended.  That was last August when I found this site.  He contacted me about three weeks ago, sending me a private message on FB (we are not FB friends).  I ignored it.  I didn't have any contact with him in the restaurant the other night, either.

So he broke it off with me about 2 1/2 yrs ago and went through a recycle last July/August.