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Harlygirl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 88


« on: February 09, 2015, 09:46:06 AM »

Hoping for a little insight
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Harlygirl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 88


« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2015, 09:57:31 AM »

Time seems to be such a huge component in these relationships... .So much so that it's hard to know definitively what is happening between two people who... .seemingly... .care for each other.  Is it safe to say ... .literally... ."Only Time Will Tell"? ... .In the sense that it takes time and self awareness to know the difference between "love bombing" and  "real" love?  I s there any other way to know the difference?  Just looking for some insights from all of you who might be struggling with this as well... .or from whom those of you who have been able to figure this out?
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workinprogress
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 548


« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2015, 10:03:55 AM »

Time seems to be such a huge component in these relationships... .So much so that it's hard to know definitively what is happening between two people who... .seemingly... .care for each other.  Is it safe to say ... .literally... ."Only Time Will Tell"? ... .In the sense that it takes time and self awareness to know the difference between "love bombing" and  "real" love?  I s there any other way to know the difference?  Just looking for some insights from all of you who might be struggling with this as well... .or from whom those of you who have been able to figure this out?

The quote came to my mind, "love is patient, love is kind."

I have been in my BPD marriage for 22 years.  I recall dating when I was younger, and I remember when I went out with women who were loving and patient.  They were genuinely interested in me as a person.  There wasn't drama.  They allowed me to be me and we "enhanced" one another.

There was no "walking on eggshells."  There were no demands or jealousy.

There was not endless sex, but in some way, the sex was so much better.

I hope this helps.  I know I may not be the best source of information.
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Harlygirl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2015, 10:39:47 AM »

Thank you Workinprogress  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2015, 01:18:10 PM »

In the sense that it takes time and self awareness to know the difference between "love bombing" and  "real" love? 

I think boundaries help.

Have boundaries and recognizing when someone may be moving things too quickly, trusting our instincts when behaviors are iffy. Personally, if things are moving too quickly I'd put on the brakes. On the other hand, a honeymoon may be a little more difficult as our perspectives may be obscured.
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