Complete make over, copying my style...

[Dog biscuit]

It wasnt a smart move to break NC by taking a look at my ex profile. I get it, and I pay the price by feeling increased sh!tty and worthless.

What I saw was strange. He changed his name, his looks, and placed a bunch of photo's of himself taken in a style that is mine. My background is in art and photograpy and during the r/s I took a bunch of photo's of him that he always found to arty. He used to tell me all the time that my sense of style was so sophisticated and fine, but way to arty for him.

During the r/s he used to ask me what kind of clothes I thought would suit him best, and what colours I thought would look good on him, and I gave him my opinion on that, but he never did anything with it, wich was completely fine, because I liked him the way he was. It was just a conversation.

I feel like he is copying my style to attract a new gf.   It feels so weird, because it is so far removed from how I knew him, and because it resembles my style in such an erie way.

The frog is making himself in to a prince, using my sence of style.

It gives a wole new meaning on the word used... .

[misssouthernbelle]

I can totally relate. I feel like the pwBPD used me as a mirror that he is now reflecting back in hopes of finding a codependent woman who is more controllable than I was.

He says he's a gentleman, that he doesn't ask for nudes or one night stands, that he's a "good guy" that just wants to find his "dream woman" and have a family that he never had. (Which is actually my viewpoint and persona, not his.)

When I said something about that to him when we had our final blow up, he said "I don't know what you're talking about. You don't know me. Seriously?"

Yet, here he is trying to pass himself off as some gentleman and classy fellow.

This is the same guy who asked me to "meet up" at 11pm one of the first nights we were talking to each other and before the discard, point blank asked if he could come over for more than cuddling, even explicitly saying he wanted to more to me while drunk one night.

SUCH A GENTLEMAN! He has told me himself that he's all over women once they make the first move.

I seriously think he's just copying the fact that I'm a lady. It angered him that I wouldn't just drop my "lady attributes" and give in, so he bashed my religion and my moral convictions by nicely hiding it as just a problem with my being a Christian to his Jew.

Yet, he's a gentleman that's such a good catch?

I definitely think my pwBPD has some narcissitic qualities going on. I told him he obviously didn't love himself one time. He said, "No, I actually really do." Here's my sign!

I think they modify their approach, depending on what they're searching for. He knows the "gentleman facade", a reflection of my lady-like persona, will get him more or less the same women like me. Gullible, good women that will take his abuse.

In fact, he always says that he's looking for a good woman. One that is better than his ex.

It's weird. He thinks he deserves them and that he really is a gentleman, despite his statements and actions. I guess it's the nice, little, false reality they create in that noggin! 

[growing_wings]

hey Dog biscuit... .

I am going to post something that might be controversial, but i will try: i would actually feel darn good about myself ! who cares why is he doing it,  your suggestios must have been very good! 

forget about him and know that you are good at what you did and your suggestions...

on a more serious note... and you know we are going in that direction: what made you look at his social media? did you want to find out how is he doing? were you bored?

[Dog biscuit]

 

Growing Wings: Good question, but the answer is neither. I was looking at his profile to confront myself with reality and to see if I was up to it. It will be inevetable that I will run into him online. I wanted to take control over what I would see if I run into him. And alltough it did hurt very much to see something of him, it also sets me free in a way. In some way it is a reality check for me.

Instead of running into him online when I am not prepared, I am more prepared now, does that make any sense?

Thanks for the insightfull questions and responses, GW and MissSouthernBelle.  

[growing_wings]

Growing Wings: Good question, but the answer is neither. I was looking at his profile to confront myself with reality and to see if I was up to it. It will be inevetable that I will run into him online. I wanted to take control over what I would see if I run into him. And alltough it did hurt very much to see something of him, it also sets me free in a way. In some way it is a reality check for me.

Instead of running into him online when I am not prepared, I am more prepared now, does that make any sense?

Thanks for the insightfull questions and responses, GW and MissSouthernBelle.  

i like this DB... . i couldnt do it myself yet. So well done you! 

It does make sense... .

now, enjoy that gain in territory you have

stay well