Contact after 2 weeks of NC.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I am hurting pretty bad. Just wanted to give un update. I will copy paste my blog post, I really can't start thinking and explaining.

Earlier I got this text, after you initiated NC around two weeks ago.

Are you going to give me any problems with a divorce? You just have to sign papers.

The wedding was simple but beautiful. Yet it was the most important moment in my life. I will never forget looking in your eyes, time stood still.

At the same time, the marriage wasn’t the moment I promised you and myself to be with you for the rest of our lives. I did that way before. And you did the same.

I kind of knew this was coming, sure I always had that tiny glimpse of hope things would change. It still hurts. A lot. I don’t know what to think really. It’s like you closed the book while I was still trying to finish the chapter. We could have just turned the page. It would have been blank, we could have filled it with whatever we wanted.

It’s also the way you wrote the text, after about two weeks of no contact. No explanation, no “nice” words. As if that text was of no importance, as if we barely knew each other. No trust. Why ask if I would give you any problems anyways? Did I ever?

The feeling in my gut this afternoon was right. You have moved on. I am nothing more than another ex. Another failure. Stuffed away into a drawer of your memory, not to be opened again. No closure. Nothing. A bad, shameful and distorted memory.

Condemned to be an oppressed memory for you. For the rest of our lives. Evoking only negative feelings should they surface for a moment. When all I wanted was to make you the happiest woman on earth, I am now making things worse for you.

You turned me into you. But I don’t have it in me, the strength you said you hated so much, to just walk away.

[pipehitter]

I am hurting pretty bad. Just wanted to give un update. I will copy paste my blog post, I really can't start thinking and explaining.

Earlier I got this text, after you initiated NC around two weeks ago.

Are you going to give me any problems with a divorce? You just have to sign papers.

The wedding was simple but beautiful. Yet it was the most important moment in my life. I will never forget looking in your eyes, time stood still.

At the same time, the marriage wasn’t the moment I promised you and myself to be with you for the rest of our lives. I did that way before. And you did the same.

I kind of knew this was coming, sure I always had that tiny glimpse of hope things would change. It still hurts. A lot. I don’t know what to think really. It’s like you closed the book while I was still trying to finish the chapter. We could have just turned the page. It would have been blank, we could have filled it with whatever we wanted.

It’s also the way you wrote the text, after about two weeks of no contact. No explanation, no “nice” words. As if that text was of no importance, as if we barely knew each other. No trust. Why ask if I would give you any problems anyways? Did I ever?

The feeling in my gut this afternoon was right. You have moved on. I am nothing more than another ex. Another failure. Stuffed away into a drawer of your memory, not to be opened again. No closure. Nothing. A bad, shameful and distorted memory.

Condemned to be an oppressed memory for you. For the rest of our lives. Evoking only negative feelings should they surface for a moment. When all I wanted was to make you the happiest woman on earth, I am now making things worse for you.

You turned me into you. But I don’t have it in me, the strength you said you hated so much, to just walk away.

[arjay]

It’s like you closed the book while I was still trying to finish the chapter. We could have just turned the page. It would have been blank, we could have filled it with whatever we wanted.

Greetings.  Yes I experienced the same - as though a light-switch was suddenly turned off and with it, the relationship.  No memories, no reminiscing of good times, no recollection of tender moments, plans, goals or simple moments of contentment and happiness.  She flipped the light switch to "off" and with it, was able to simply walk away.

I remember the days when I felt as you likely do now.  It takes time to get past the shock of not only the abrupt end, but the ease at which they change gears and simply move on.  It also explains why so many nons (including myself) were eager to re-engage when their "new life" fell apart too.

The one consolation for being in this early stage of moving-on is that it is the "low point" and from here everything is "up".  There is no more wondering about what the day will bring; whether a disaster is brewing; whether we need to worry about our safety, mental health and sense of well-being.  We simply need to focus on our own healing, knowing over time we will not only get past this experience, but become healthier and stronger too.  It is one of those moments in life that will shape us forever in positive ways if we let it, or embitter us to the possibilities of having a loving and healthy relationship one day.

Peace to you