exBPD suddenly at my door crying after 1 month NC

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Over a month ago now, I got dumped by my exBPD out of the blue. Short story; she was very happy and had this intense love for me, i was her hero and soulmate, and the only person in the world she could trust, and then one day she told me she doesn't love me and want us to forget each other so she dumped me and NC ever since.

--> my story   https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=229096.0;all

After she broke up I tried contacting her and she ice coldly replied me to never contact again, when i was looking for explanation to manage to accept how this could suddenly go from honeymoon to breakup over night - what was up with the soulmate thing?... I was so lost.

Then, some days ago, I suddenly received a very long letter from her, explaining how sad she was and she regretted saying she wants NC. I didn't respond, tho it was hard. The next day she was outside my home, called me and asked if she could come in. How could I say no... .I missed her more than anything, and felt so alone.

She didn't want me back. She just cried, said she wish all the best for me, and I had given her everything and "saved her life" but she KNEW we could never be together and love each other (the same way she KNEW that we were soul mates and ment-to-be till the day she broke up haha). And you can't argue with that knowledge, led by her emotions. Her emotions just knew it... .So black / white over night.

Then my life felt apart, when she sat there crying in my lap, I sat there in tears, missing the "fantasy" and the "old her" so much. So I started crying and she suddenly switched mood: She went from being very sad, to suddenly be all happy. She told me she had to go now, to meet a friend, but wished me a good life. I sat there, cried, begged her to stay 5 more minutes, because its the last time we will ever see each other and meeting her for the first time since breakup woke some bad emotions. She said "nah I can't be late, thats rude, but thanks for everything tho, I hope i find someone as good as you one day, you have made me so happy and saved me, and I have never felt better about myself than now" then she said "good bye... forever" and kinda laughed and walked out.

I sat there, abandoned the same way i got abandoned a month earlier, in the same couch! She walked out, apparently happy, while I sat there, broken and lost and abandoned... .AGAIN

[NorthLight]

Over a month ago now, I got dumped by my exBPD out of the blue. Short story; she was very happy and had this intense love for me, i was her hero and soulmate, and the only person in the world she could trust, and then one day she told me she doesn't love me and want us to forget each other so she dumped me and NC ever since.

--> my story   https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=229096.0;all

After she broke up I tried contacting her and she ice coldly replied me to never contact again, when i was looking for explanation to manage to accept how this could suddenly go from honeymoon to breakup over night - what was up with the soulmate thing?... I was so lost.

Then, some days ago, I suddenly received a very long letter from her, explaining how sad she was and she regretted saying she wants NC. I didn't respond, tho it was hard. The next day she was outside my home, called me and asked if she could come in. How could I say no... .I missed her more than anything, and felt so alone.

She didn't want me back. She just cried, said she wish all the best for me, and I had given her everything and "saved her life" but she KNEW we could never be together and love each other (the same way she KNEW that we were soul mates and ment-to-be till the day she broke up haha). And you can't argue with that knowledge, led by her emotions. Her emotions just knew it... .So black / white over night.

Then my life felt apart, when she sat there crying in my lap, I sat there in tears, missing the "fantasy" and the "old her" so much. So I started crying and she suddenly switched mood: She went from being very sad, to suddenly be all happy. She told me she had to go now, to meet a friend, but wished me a good life. I sat there, cried, begged her to stay 5 more minutes, because its the last time we will ever see each other and meeting her for the first time since breakup woke some bad emotions. She said "nah I can't be late, thats rude, but thanks for everything tho, I hope i find someone as good as you one day, you have made me so happy and saved me, and I have never felt better about myself than now" then she said "good bye... forever" and kinda laughed and walked out.

I sat there, abandoned the same way i got abandoned a month earlier, in the same couch! She walked out, apparently happy, while I sat there, broken and lost and abandoned... .AGAIN

[no_ordinary]

so sorry to hear that... your story is so similar to mine, and i can really feel your pain.

my ex gf came to my house month and a half after no contact, after she started new relationship and was soo in love again... .she came with a sad sad look and tears in her eyes.

she was ___ing with my brain again and i was recycled again, but for a short period of time... .in other words, after that she cheated on her new girlfriend with me... .so ___ed up.

be strong.

[Infared]

They just suck the life out of everyone to fuel their own batteries... .can't you just feel it?

They are like hungry aliens.

My heart goes out to both of you, N.O. and NL.

[Blimblam]

I'm so sorry to hear that it's just so cold.  I know I reacted by eventually cutting off and repressing some emotions with me ex but that caused me even more pain and I'm realizing keeps me stuck I'm the bond also. Whatever you do keeper the flood gate of emotions open.  That kind of behavior she pulled can condition you to in your mind keep the idea if you ever see her again you will hold in all your vulnerability.  Just like through out the relationship you had probably been conditioned to hold in your emotions and be supportive to comfort her.  We hold those emotions in and it becomes harder to detache.

As cold as that was it was probably the best way she could leave you.  Feel those feelings in your heart and gut they are the path to freedom let the tears flow.

[mywifecrazy]

Wow!

That is sick, twisted and creepy    

I know you're hurting but be glad that she revealed herself to you sooner than later. That is sadistic behavior  

I'm sure she'll try to return at some point to try to suck some more life out of you. Be strong. Start putting up your NC wall now! Build it brick by brick. Make it high and deep so she can't ever penetrate it. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HER!

Hang in there... .MWC

[NorthLight]

Thank you for the support guys! You have all been there, with your "soulmate" and have seen how ONE person can behave in TWO totally different ways (that is regulated by she seeing you as black or white). It is so sick... .

I understood right away after this meeting, when she left the same brutal way, that she didn't come back because she felt sorry for me - She came back to easier deal with her own messed up emotions. She saw me as strong at first, so she was sad and missed me (saw me as white). When she saw me as I broke down, I turned black and she treated me in the same ice-cold way she did when she broke up -> Just couldn't care less about me, and left with me sitting there crying.

It is much easier for her to abandon me when she looks at me black, than white, and i guess when i didn't answer her long letter + didn't contact her for long, I appeared strong, not broken,and couldn't she deal with it, so she had to come back, break my heart again, so she could move on.

I think she sees me as "black" when i broken, because she doesn't have empathy at all for other human beings, so as long as I'm strong she can "get" energy from me, but as soon as I am the vulnerable one, she doesn't see me as the person that can help her, and then she throws me away (if that makes sense).

[NorthLight]

And now she just deleted all mutual friends between us on face (she deleted all pictures and removed all evidence we were ever dating, the day she broke up). Her exB from 3 years ago, she is still tagged in pics with him and has him and his whole family as friends, and were even communicating with all of them while we was together... .He cheated on her so they broke up.

This time, she deletes all evidence and all my family, when i have never done ANYTHING to harm her. I don't get it, I don't get how little i meant to her, what the heck, I'm so confused, sad and feel like thrash. Omg, i am so lost

[MommaBear]

And now she just deleted all mutual friends between us on face (she deleted all pictures and removed all evidence we were ever dating, the day she broke up). Her exB from 3 years ago, she is still tagged in pics with him and has him and his whole family as friends, and were even communicating with all of them while we was together... .He cheated on her so they broke up.

This time, she deletes all evidence and all my family, when i have never done ANYTHING to harm her. I don't get it, I don't get how little i meant to her, what the heck, I'm so confused, sad and feel like thrash. Omg, i am so lost

Been there. My xhwBPD did the same thing to me. One minute we're soulmates and he'd throw himself on a grenade to save me, the next he'd use me a human shield or throw me under a bus for a good laugh.

I think what *may* be happening is the final step in the "devaluation" stage, before you're discarded completely, painted black (as they say), and essentially labelled the devil for all eternity (more or less).

I'm there (as in, I'm the devil, according to him). It's a stage that's got it's perks (less instability, more predictability), but at the same time, it can be equally draining.

The good news is that if in fact you are at this stage, it's easier to learn how to cope because the element of unpredictability is largely gone, and you can focus more on your own healing. These boards are a good place to start.

But it hurts like heck, and everyone here can appreciate that. I would suggest taking steps to establish no contact (if there are no children involved) and to really talk about your feelings with others here on the boards. There is some great advice and insight, and you'll never be made to feel like you're a victim of your own choices (they way some people do, those who don't understand BPD).

Healing is possible. We're all here for you 

[Frankcostello]

And now she just deleted all mutual friends between us on face (she deleted all pictures and removed all evidence we were ever dating, the day she broke up). Her exB from 3 years ago, she is still tagged in pics with him and has him and his whole family as friends, and were even communicating with all of them while we was together... .He cheated on her so they broke up.

This time, she deletes all evidence and all my family, when i have never done ANYTHING to harm her. I don't get it, I don't get how little i meant to her, what the heck, I'm so confused, sad and feel like thrash. Omg, i am so lost

Been there as well with my exBPDgf who deleted any trace of me and blocked me after breaking up with me.  In my case she probably was trying to hide what she was doing or more likely who she was doing.  The best thing you can do is move on.  Stop replying to her messages, don't open your door anymore because she will just twist that experience to see you in a bad light.  She is using you for her own needs at the moment. 

[NorthLight]

Thanks for the support guys, really appreciate it.

And yes, she is using me, but I just can't "accept" that she has forgotten all the good memories, and just treats me like the worst person on earth, after everything I have done, after everything we have went through of intense times. She is like a different person, I am so freaked out.

[camuse]

You will accept it over time.

It's a depressing acceptance, but those good times weren't real - she won't have been feeling what you thought she was feeling.

No contact is the only way forward, allow your mind to forget it and move on. It's a horrible time, but you will be ok. Time and no contact is the only way to recover.

[camuse]

Your experience of her turning up is similar to mine, after we broke up she was desperate to be friends, but I realised she was only happy when I was broken. She wanted me only to suck out my own soul to fill her bottomless pit of nothingness. Your experience was horrible, but it will probably be useful in the long run - you will soon see what a vile person she is to behave like that. She has nothing to offer you, and only wants to take from you. Once you accept that, it will be a lot easier to put her behind you.

Good luck friend

[Caredverymuch]

Thanks for the support guys, really appreciate it.

And yes, she is using me, but I just can't "accept" that she has forgotten all the good memories, and just treats me like the worst person on earth, after everything I have done, after everything we have went through of intense times. She is like a different person, I am so freaked out.

NorthLight,

Isn't is just so hurtful and confusing that they come to you in a heap of heartache and absolute drenching tears and your empathetic kind heart comforts them even though they have hurt you and left you totally alone and abruptly for no reason at all?  You compromise your own healing which is hard enough and so confusing as your head is telling you to turn your back but your heart remembers all those feelings you've had to process all alone and your own tears begin to flow, as it remembers how much you love and care about this person who is sitting beside you sobbing. 

And instead of that mutual understanding you've longed for to soothe your heart, too, which has been aching with despair, you are met an immediate sense of delight by your ex? They don't even seem to take a breathe as that smile comes across their face while your head is bowed and your tears are dripping all the way down your face in silence and your heart is breaking all over again. And that person you have missed every single all alone moment until now, who just five minutes ago was telling you that they have never felt a pain so deep in losing you as their tears seep and their look is the saddest you have ever seen and you softly caress their back to soothe them in such empathy, is now euphoric, looks past you not only with zero recognition for your very real sadness, but as if you are not even real. Not even another human in the room. You could be a chair by now to them.  And they say in their big happy all better half dissociated state " I have to go now. I have a meeting in an hour. I can't see you again."  AND. They leave you there. All alone. Again.

They go home. Delete you from everything in big ways that show immense effort and forethought to show you and hurt you for absolutely no reason at all. While you are still sitting there where they left you, head bowed, your tears still dripping down your face as you watched them pull away, but not before taking the time to open the car windows, readjust the mirrors, take a sip of water, turn soft music on, and fix a gentle happy lighthearted gaze to take in their beautiful sunny awesome summer day.

You could absolutely not make this stuff up.  I am so very sorry for your pain my friend. Please, keep reading and posting here. And please... .do not go back for more Northlight.

[Crow Moon]

And now she just deleted all mutual friends between us on face (she deleted all pictures and removed all evidence we were ever dating, the day she broke up). Her exB from 3 years ago, she is still tagged in pics with him and has him and his whole family as friends, and were even communicating with all of them while we was together... .He cheated on her so they broke up.

This time, she deletes all evidence and all my family, when i have never done ANYTHING to harm her. I don't get it, I don't get how little i meant to her, what the heck, I'm so confused, sad and feel like thrash. Omg, i am so lost

Wow, this is so recognizable. My ex did exactly the same a few days ago. After dumping me she deleted me out of her life the next day. Even unliked everything on my page before doing so. I, too, am having difficulty understanding what happened. The feeling of being used all this time is overwhelming at the moment. It feels like  it was just nice to have my attention, because I was willing to listen and be understandable. And still it feels like I was the bad guy.

[slimmiller]

Sorry to hear Man!

They are like emotional/spiritual vampires. They suck the life out of you in every way. Their hollowness is so deep they have to have someone to feed off of.

When you were strong she could feed off of you. When you showed your emotions and laid your heart bare you were no longer useful to her. I know that thought sucks and it hurts but my exBPD in a moment of clarity in an argument screamed at me 'you are no longer useful to me'  One of the few times in her life when she was actually honest with me

Be Well

[mywifecrazy]

Sorry to hear Man!

They are like emotional/spiritual vampires. They suck the life out of you in every way. Their hollowness is so deep they have to have someone to feed off of.

When you were strong she could feed off of you. When you showed your emotions and laid your heart bare you were no longer useful to her. I know that thought sucks and it hurts but my exBPD in a moment of clarity in an argument screamed at me 'you are no longer useful to me'  One of the few times in her life when she was actually honest with me

Scary isn't it slimmiller... .

I had a similar experience with my uBPDxw. In a heated argument when I was questioning her on all her infidelities and selfish behaviors she screamed at me in a ghoulish voice "I know... .I'm F¥cked Up... .I'm F¥cked up" It was scary because in her rage she sounded like a person that I didn't know and never encountered before. She sounded possessed and full of inner turmoil. On another occasion before we were divorced I was trying to get her into counseling with me. She told me no... .I asked Why? She told me "because I don't want you to find out just how F¥cked up I really am".

I still have hatred in my heart for the things she's done and I'm working on it and getting better. When I'm able to look at her without the hate I see a person living a life that's very sad and pathetic. It must be a miserable existence. I WOULDN'T WANT HER LIFE!

MWC

[NorthLight]

Thanks for the support guys, really appreciate it.

And yes, she is using me, but I just can't "accept" that she has forgotten all the good memories, and just treats me like the worst person on earth, after everything I have done, after everything we have went through of intense times. She is like a different person, I am so freaked out.

NorthLight,

Isn't is just so hurtful and confusing that they come to you in a heap of heartache and absolute drenching tears and your empathetic kind heart comforts them even though they have hurt you and left you totally alone and abruptly for no reason at all?  You compromise your own healing which is hard enough and so confusing as your head is telling you to turn your back but your heart remembers all those feelings you've had to process all alone and your own tears begin to flow, as it remembers how much you love and care about this person who is sitting beside you sobbing. 

And instead of that mutual understanding you've longed for to soothe your heart, too, which has been aching with despair, you are met an immediate sense of delight by your ex? They don't even seem to take a breathe as that smile comes across their face while your head is bowed and your tears are dripping all the way down your face in silence and your heart is breaking all over again. And that person you have missed every single all alone moment until now, who just five minutes ago was telling you that they have never felt a pain so deep in losing you as their tears seep and their look is the saddest you have ever seen and you softly caress their back to soothe them in such empathy, is now euphoric, looks past you not only with zero recognition for your very real sadness, but as if you are not even real. Not even another human in the room. You could be a chair by now to them.  And they say in their big happy all better half dissociated state " I have to go now. I have a meeting in an hour. I can't see you again."  AND. They leave you there. All alone. Again.

They go home. Delete you from everything in big ways that show immense effort and forethought to show you and hurt you for absolutely no reason at all. While you are still sitting there where they left you, head bowed, your tears still dripping down your face as you watched them pull away, but not before taking the time to open the car windows, readjust the mirrors, take a sip of water, turn soft music on, and fix a gentle happy lighthearted gaze to take in their beautiful sunny awesome summer day.

You could absolutely not make this stuff up.  I am so very sorry for your pain my friend. Please, keep reading and posting here. And please... .do not go back for more Northlight.

Thank you thank you very much for this story! It is like you summed up the "pieces" into one big picture. It almost made me laugh seeing the whole story, so specific and good written. Its unreal...

After she broke my view on life and the future and made such pain in my life that i have never felt before, she comes back, and i actually comforts her when she shows up? and misses her when she leaves with a smile on her face while i feel abandoned again, seeing her having no empathy for the way she leaves, again.

And yes, I kinda feel like for example a chair. I have literally said to friends that the way she looked at me and treated me, both time she abandoned me, was as if I was not even a human, it was like she was taking of a garbage bag - And could not care less.

And still, here I sit, missing her? have sorrow? feeling alone, empty, useless, lost... .I should be mad. I should hate her. And never ever want to hear from her again. But its so hard for me to "switch" the way she did, because the love was so intense, and she totally messed up my emotions so they are out of control now.

[asher2]

NorthLight -

Your story hit home with me. After my ex and I broke up and I found out all the cheating she had done, she came to my place one night crying like I have never before seen a human being cry. She cried hard for about three hours, telling me I was the love of her life, the guy she cheated on with me (at least the one I know about) meant nothing to her (even though she got married to him about seven months later) and that she will always love me but she just knew we'd never work out. I remember laying with her in my bed that night as we were talking (nothing sexual) and she fell asleep. Like you, I thought, "I miss this and this is the way it is supposed to be." But a short while later she woke up and immediately said she had to go. Like you, I begged her to stay but she took off.

I remember waking up the next morning feeling so mad at myself. "Why did I let her "get" to me again? Why did I let her have another chance to mess with my emotions?" From that moment on, I went completely NC with her and have held firm since.

My point in telling you this is that although you may feel awful now, in the grand scheme of things it isn't that bad. Just know that she will likely make attempts to contact you in the future and when she does, run like hell the opposite direction. I had pre-determined plans in my head for what I would do or say if she showed up at my door again, ran into at the grocery store, etc. For me, I was determined not to let her get to me again and play with my emotions. And looking back, that strategy worked very well. NC was absolutely the best thing for me and really helped me heal.

[Caredverymuch]

Thanks for the support guys, really appreciate it.

And yes, she is using me, but I just can't "accept" that she has forgotten all the good memories, and just treats me like the worst person on earth, after everything I have done, after everything we have went through of intense times. She is like a different person, I am so freaked out.

NorthLight,

Isn't is just so hurtful and confusing that they come to you in a heap of heartache and absolute drenching tears and your empathetic kind heart comforts them even though they have hurt you and left you totally alone and abruptly for no reason at all?  You compromise your own healing which is hard enough and so confusing as your head is telling you to turn your back but your heart remembers all those feelings you've had to process all alone and your own tears begin to flow, as it remembers how much you love and care about this person who is sitting beside you sobbing. 

And instead of that mutual understanding you've longed for to soothe your heart, too, which has been aching with despair, you are met an immediate sense of delight by your ex? They don't even seem to take a breathe as that smile comes across their face while your head is bowed and your tears are dripping all the way down your face in silence and your heart is breaking all over again. And that person you have missed every single all alone moment until now, who just five minutes ago was telling you that they have never felt a pain so deep in losing you as their tears seep and their look is the saddest you have ever seen and you softly caress their back to soothe them in such empathy, is now euphoric, looks past you not only with zero recognition for your very real sadness, but as if you are not even real. Not even another human in the room. You could be a chair by now to them.  And they say in their big happy all better half dissociated state " I have to go now. I have a meeting in an hour. I can't see you again."  AND. They leave you there. All alone. Again.

They go home. Delete you from everything in big ways that show immense effort and forethought to show you and hurt you for absolutely no reason at all. While you are still sitting there where they left you, head bowed, your tears still dripping down your face as you watched them pull away, but not before taking the time to open the car windows, readjust the mirrors, take a sip of water, turn soft music on, and fix a gentle happy lighthearted gaze to take in their beautiful sunny awesome summer day.

You could absolutely not make this stuff up.  I am so very sorry for your pain my friend. Please, keep reading and posting here. And please... .do not go back for more Northlight.

Thank you thank you very much for this story! It is like you summed up the "pieces" into one big picture. It almost made me laugh seeing the whole story, so specific and good written. Its unreal...

After she broke my view on life and the future and made such pain in my life that i have never felt before, she comes back, and i actually comforts her when she shows up? and misses her when she leaves with a smile on her face while i feel abandoned again, seeing her having no empathy for the way she leaves, again.

And yes, I kinda feel like for example a chair. I have literally said to friends that the way she looked at me and treated me, both time she abandoned me, was as if I was not even a human, it was like she was taking of a garbage bag - And could not care less.

And still, here I sit, missing her? have sorrow? feeling alone, empty, useless, lost... .I should be mad. I should hate her. And never ever want to hear from her again. But its so hard for me to "switch" the way she did, because the love was so intense, and she totally messed up my emotions so they are out of control now.

North light, I do know what you mean. I read somewhere that a pBPD"s partner could be a garbage can wearing a wig, just as long as that garbage can wearing the wig can tend to their one sided well of selfish need.  Seems correct.

These people have not an ounce of empathy but they sure trick you into believing they do early on.

[camuse]

t my exBPD in a moment of clarity in an argument screamed at me 'you are no longer useful to me'  One of the few times in her life when she was actually honest with me

In a heated argument when I was questioning her on all her infidelities and selfish behaviors she screamed at me in a ghoulish voice "I know... .I'm F¥cked Up... .I'm F¥cked up"

MWC

Mine said "I don't understand why you put up with this."  I knew at that moment there was no hope - she knew she was abusing me, couldn't help it, and I went down in her estimation for putting up with it. I just didn't understand why she didn't stop.

So many similar stories.

[Spartan999]

WoW!       YOUR STORY (Northlight) is EXACTLY  what personifies the bizarre twist of an actual disordered person.    YOU personally followed up your story in another post above and nailed it right on the head... .  I got contact a few times after I was dumped,   and as long as I catered to a positive upbeat tone,  and tried to play dumb,  humorous, superficial... .then  the chatting/texting was good,  and was drawing me in and triggering my addict*tion to her... .  but as SOON as it provoked me to open up and say I missed her,  and GAVE HER THAT POWER,  that ability to view me as weak, emotional... .the chats ended and she disappeared into THIN air... .  People shouldn't  necessarily proclaim there EX is BPD,   and then question the behavior or the outcome of subsequent engagements after the discard,  because these consistent stories DEFINE their behavior as emotionally suppressed,   dysregulated.    They want the excitement and strength and fun and envy of a 'new' relationship, their new 'possession' really.      WE GROW closer for whatever right or wrong reasons,  they grow less enthused,  less appreciative.    The core root of BPD is  narcissim,  apathy,   and  inability to deal with mature realities,  they run from it,  they can't talk about it... PERIOD.   But I'm only reiterating whats been stated thousands of times here.   The story you described,  I'm just telling you,  I can believe 100 percent that it happened JUST like you described,  and until someone experiences that,  they have no clue.     Wow,  this really hits home... .  denial, along with wanting to 'fix' them  and 'fix' our ego... .  trust me,  2 years later,  I still to this day yearn for validation.   She got engaged to a regular 'joe' in my opinion who commutes every weekend to see her for 7 months,  ALREADY engaged now.    I was raged on for us not being together 7 days a week,  having dinner every night together... .  so with that comment,  I want to validate another fact... .  As time passes,  and variables change,  like their friends marrrying and having kids,  or meeting someone more docile with no boundaries,  then yes,   our replacements CAN last longer.   But they will behind closed doors,  at some point,  become the target of the BPD's unhappiness and turmoil inside them.   But 2 years later,  I know that if I touch that hot stove,  I know the burn... .and I try to deny,  but I read here constantly and notes I've made to balance out my fanta*sy thoughts,  the truth is here, on these boards... .Read it,  gain perspective,  and pull away.   Your perspective will get clarity, and your dignity will be returned.   They can take it just like you described.  Again,  again, again.   When someone shows you their cards one time,  that defines their capability ALWAYS going forward.  And going forward, everytime anybody gets away with something,  they have less respect,  where we believe we've earned respect by opening up again... .  fix us, not them.    You're gonna be good,  trust me !  Time   And this may grate on you for years,  maybe,  but don't let it define you.

[mywifecrazy]

  They want the excitement and strength and fun and envy of a 'new' relationship, their new 'possession'

I never heard the NEW R/S (victim) described like this. This was a  moment for me. It makes a lot of sense!

MWC

[Infared]

 They want the excitement and strength and fun and envy of a 'new' relationship, their new 'possession'

I never heard the NEW R/S (victim) described like this. This was a   moment for me. It makes a lot of sense!

MWC

Don't forget... .they get to get rescued from us in their new relationship! (Not really us... .they get to get rescued from all of the incredible lies that they made up about us... .oh the victim hood ... .ohhhh poor me... .please save me from that ogre, etc., etc., etc... ad infinitum... .).

Now there is some self-manufactured excitement all at the expense of EVERYONE around you!  

[willtimeheal]

Thanks for the support guys, really appreciate it.

And yes, she is using me, but I just can't "accept" that she has forgotten all the good memories, and just treats me like the worst person on earth, after everything I have done, after everything we have went through of intense times. She is like a different person, I am so freaked out.

Wow. She needed fuel. By seeing you sad and longing for her again she was able to fill her tank. By eliminating u from FB she put more fuel in her tank. Her tank will run dry again. She will come knocking again. How will you prepare yourself?  I am so sorry for your pain. Please know she hasn't forgotten any memories with you. Her brain doesn't work like that. Her brain looks at memories as "fuel" or "no fuel."  If is not a logical brain it is a brain on survival mode.

[willy45]

She's just using you. Probably something bad happened in her life and she's back to her old stomping grounds. Be pissed. That is disrespectful of you and your feelings. Remember, this is about her, not you. She doesn't care about you like a normal person would. Stay away... .I'm saying this because my ex has been doing similar things for 2 YEARS. Thank god we don't live in the same city.

My biggest lesson... .Only you can maintain NC. She won't. Only you can. She has initiated. That should give you the excuse to keep it. You are the adult here. She is not. Probably whatever shiny new toy she has didn't live up to expectations. Now she's back to you. Its emotional predation. Run

[Infared]

She's just using you. Probably something bad happened in her life and she's back to her old stomping grounds. Be pissed. That is disrespectful of you and your feelings. Remember, this is about her, not you. She doesn't care about you like a normal person would. Stay away... .I'm saying this because my ex has been doing similar things for 2 YEARS. Thank god we don't live in the same city.

My biggest lesson... .Only you can maintain NC. She won't. Only you can. She has initiated. That should give you the excuse to keep it. You are the adult here. She is not. Probably whatever shiny new toy she has didn't live up to expectations. Now she's back to you. Its emotional predation. Run

I agree with everything you said. I lived this. It is brutal. Mine will still try to ambush me, years later. It is REALLY difficult to take care of you (it seems for most of us)... .but total NC is the only way to love you. They ARE emotional predators.