Been on here before. 2nd Relationship with a BPD Women. Wont bore you with all the details been here before but she ticks every box. I admittedly have Narcissistic traits has she has pointed out. Pot, Kettle, Black springs to mind. To cut a long story short we had a very sexual relationship for 3 monthes. It was going great and when we got real close has is true to form she went cold, arguments started and the rrelationship ended. Anyway has is a common BPD trait they always like to have a hold over you. In January this year I stupidly got a Mobile Contract Phone out for her in my name. My credit rating is good, hers is mud. Soon after we finished. Since then the problem is she keeps missing payments and ive paid to protect my credit rating has I want a mortgage so ive paid a few bills
She met another person and whats bugging me is shes been in a relationship with him longer than me. Granted he lives a lot further away than I did, other end of the country. Now don't think bad of me but I keep in shape, muscualar, well dressed etc, he is fat, scruffy etc and they make out so happy on Facebook. Yes I have a ego and my weakness is I sometimes think with my you know what and we had a great sex life. I have had sex with her once since shes been with him and last week she rung me in the early hours why she was staying with him saying how she misses me, and shes not happy etc. Hands up thinking with my you know what again. Anyway tonight after telling me shes not happy with him she posts a profile pic with him on Facebook all lovey dovey. Im fuming. So I told her im paying off the remaining phone contract off on Monday. Do you think she has had this to have a hold over me and am I doing the right thing paying it off to get rid. Yes I want to hurt her back a bit.
Im hate to say this, but I am glad I am not alone. I too, am recovering from my second consecutive relationship with a uBPD waif. Both did the same as yours, and are now with someone else as soon as I was chewed up and spit out. Not only do I feel completely empty and worthless at this point, back to back BPDs have pretty much drained me of any trust. I have no idea how long its going to take to recover.
Like you, I too had red flags right off the bat. I ignored them with the second, as I was made aware of them after researching my first. I can honestly say, it was the EXACT same relationship... .except the second time I wasnt being accused of cheating as much... .but she was spying at me under the bathroom door as I was in there.
I hope that you will learn, as I have now, that it is NEVER worth it in the end. Once the red flags are waved, its time to retreat. For self preservation.
And yes, you are right. My most recent ex loved to hold things over me as well as an attempted method of control. If I didnt do things her way, she would threaten to leave me. I would leave her instead... .and then she would call me and ask to come back home. She currently refuses to give me back the engagement ring... .trying to keep a hold over me and control the break up, no doubt.
