Frustrated that I'm constantly finding new questions that I will never ask her

[paperlung]

I always find myself asking new questions to ask my ex. Questions I wish I had asked her when I re-engaged last month, but now I'm NC again.

I saw her two times in person in December after not having seen her in over a year. I went NC back in March 2013 but started LC a year later through e-mail. Eventually she asked for my number so we could text. We stayed very LC until November 2014. She told me she was moving back to my area at the end of the month.

In December, the first time I met up with her, we took my dog for a walk and then I dropped her off home. The meeting wasn't any longer than an hour. We didn't discuss our failed relationship, nor did she apologize to my face for the hell she put me through. I did bring this up to her later and she said, "I didn't think it was necessary because I apologized before through that e-mail I wrote to you. But f you wanted one, YOU should have asked." What the heck?

The second time we hung out, I went to her place to play some video games. She came onto me very hard, but I stopped her. She was already sleeping with two other guys at the time, and she had been smoking a few cigarettes already... .I just found her repulsive.

I am now NC with her again since January 4th as I didn't like what I saw or heard out of her; I don't think she's changed much. Since then, she's found herself a new boyfriend off POF after only 10 days of knowing/talking to him (she's in total idealization mode right now).

Now, getting back to the point of this thread. I started thinking today... .She had two opportunities in person to ask me what I had been up to since we went our separate ways, but she never bothered to ask me a goddamn thing about myself. Wait, I take that back. She asked me how many women I had slept with the second time we hung out. Oh, and when she was coming onto me in bed she asked if I still had a six-pack. Nothing like, "So tell me your story, paperlung. Did you do any traveling? Pick up any new hobbies? Make some new friends? Join anything cool?" And I can't for the life of me figure out why she didn't ask these types of questions? Could she really be just that self-centered?

I mean, when we were in LC via text I remember her asking me if I was still going to school, but that's it! Just... .what the heck? I, on the other hand, had so many questions for her that most of the conversation was her talking about her drama. How she went from this place with that guy, to that place with this guy, ect. She'd been around the block, I'd say. I asked her about her mental health, and if it has improved (not really), if she was going to get serious about therapy (she's not), if she was going to finally get serious about going back to school (don't think so). You know, questions concerning her well being, life and future.

[Infared]

"Could she really be just that self-centered?"

Yes... .yes... .and YES!

[hurting300]

Buddy, people with BPD are SELFISH. They don't mean to be that way, it's the arrested development. Can you really expect a 5 year old to be interested in your life? No you can't... .A 5 year old is all about themselves as they should be. Do you how bad I want to sit my ex down and tell I know all your dirty little secrets now and I also know about your mental illness. That would be awesome. But totally not worth it. She can't care beyond herself. Break this down, she has a PERSONALITY disorder. No medication can cure her. Therapy is also very poor with healthy outcomes. Changing someone's personality with BPD, would be like trying to make water not so wet. Be happy and fix yourself. Now I know I'm one to talk because right now I'm stuck in "anger". But I'm working on that. Now tell me, why do you let it bother you so much when billions of healthy women are waiting for us?...

[drummerboy]

IMO pwBPD are the most self absorbed people on the planet. I estimate that 98% of the conversation out of me ex's mouth was about her stuff, her issues, her self created crisis. I honestly can't recall mine EVER asking me "how are you doing" I think it's because their brain is constantly in turmoil because of the condition they simply have no brainpower left to consider or care about other peoples lives, its all about them, me, me, me.  I'm not surprised by anything in your post, sounds 100% BPD to me.

[paperlung]

IMO pwBPD are the most self absorbed people on the planet. I estimate that 98% of the conversation out of me ex's mouth was about her stuff, her issues, her self created crisis. I honestly can't recall mine EVER asking me "how are you doing" I think it's because their brain is constantly in turmoil because of the condition they simply have no brainpower left to consider or care about other peoples lives, its all about them, me, me, me.  I'm not surprised by anything in your post, sounds 100% BPD to me.

She is freakin' BPD, man. A doctor diagnosed her over a year ago and she believed it for a while, but then later dismissed it. Apparently a doctor ain't suited to make such a diagnosis? She says it has to be a psychiatrist.  Her older sister recently got diagnosed with it. She can deny it all she wants right now, but I know she is.

hurting300, I don't know. I stopped letting it bother me a few months after we broke up back in 2013. I wasn't even bothered by her when we were LC because she was living far away. However, once she moved back and I saw her... .I don't know. It's weird. I'll get over this eventually, though. I think her telling me all of these false plans about how she was going to change her lifestyle for the better through text right before she moved back really got to me. Like I was lied to, or that I should of known better than to have faith in her because she's always been the type to say one thing but do another.