Has anyone here ever heard of or been involved with someone who did something similar?
Sort of: my ex had been married 3 times and always took her ex's name, so along with her maiden name she had 4 names, and they were a source of shame for her, marks of repeated failures.
Although your situation is sad Bumps. Someone without a stable sense of self, and therefore identity, looking outside themselves for that identity, and giving meaning to their name, making it their identity, so by changing it they change who they 'are' and erase the history along with the old name. That would be really handy if things worked that way, when you think about it, but unfortunately they don't so it's just sad. Although it does tie into her abandoning you, part of that erasing of a previous life as defined by a name and starting over. Sorry man, that would be very painful. And we know that it doesn't work either, because she took the disorder with her, so maybe she'll now take his name or an entirely new one, window dressing on the problem, no resolution. A resolution can happen for you however, and congrats for showing up and doing the work. Take care of you!
