There were obviously things that she said in an emotionally stable state that were happy and positive, but there were also things she said that were so f'd up they stuck with me. Here are some examples:
Early on she'd say
"I will leave you and I always want you to come after me". Yeah, big BPD
!
Numerous times during the r/s she'd say to me
"I just don't see our lives together in the future". She could never fully explain what that meant.
One time seconds after we were physically intimate, she said to me
"I feel like sex is the only thing you share with me that you don't share with your D". That one will always stick with me as the weirdest thing she ever said to me!
A few weeks later, I had a special dinner with my teen D after not seeing her for a couple weeks. During the dinner, my ex gf "sexted" a couple times. I didn't look at my phone during the dinner, but checked it after to find graphic texts that my ex gf sent while she knew I was at dinner with my kid. When I confronted her that night, she said
"you are lucky to have a woman who'll send you notes like that!" Absolutely not acknowledgement that the timing was completely inappropriate and disrespectful.
A couple weeks before I left the r/s for good, we were on a flight back from NYC and she was going on about how I needed to participate in an outing with her and her kids where the kids have had major meltdowns in the past. I mean crazy stuff. So, I told her that we needed to change things up this year for my own mental health. She resisted and I finally asked her if she had any empathy for how I must feel when witnessing such rages by her kids? I totally believe she modeled for them and they thought this was how one should act. She looked at me manufacturing some fake tears and said
"I don't know how to be empathetic". This came from a 43 year old woman!
During our last confrontation, I attempted to leave the room when she wouldn't stop with a rant. She followed me pushing her way through a door and pushing me hard against a wall. This was the second time she had done this in less than a few weeks. I pushed her off of me and yelled at her that she couldn't do that and that it is physical abuse. She then said
"I did it because I love you". That was the same thing she said the first time she did it. Classic words of an abuser! She never got a chance to say those words again.
I've been in a healthy r/s with a fabulous non PD lady for nearly nine months and she doesn't say any these wacky things... .
