ive been 'allowing myself to accept this new kind of reality' where i put myself second to my ex's demands, and allow the her to control- and manipulate me, to be emotionally abused. For too long this has been going on.
It’s taken me awhile to figure out the same, good for you. Also, how (the hell) do I keep from repeating the same mistake... .? I feel it’s a lack of self esteem on my part, but that stuff’s hard to build, especially on our own.
Perhaps becoming instantly angry when coming into contact with someone who reminds us of someone who's taken advantage of us in the past might work... .? I’ve finally developed an eye for such deceptive and controlling behavior. But honestly, I’m shellshocked ... .almost fearful of reaching out ... .knowing my odds of latching onto another user/ abuser
So, I’m attempting to get all my S-t in order, first. Then approach the next opportunity (for love) from a position of experience and, dare I say, power(!). Tuff talk, hungh? Well, if we don’t begin to view ourselves with some major worth we’re likely to repeat previous mistakes … thus making a lot of this crap our fault.
And, if we’ve fingered the problem, we only need fix it
... .and again, I'm impressed with
Arcturus81's insight. The Thread likely exists, but you mentioning having formed a friendship with your BP's ex is something I find fascinating. I've often wished I could have done the same ... .must drive the BP (further) insane, nice work
