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Author Topic: I feel damaged and can't move on.  (Read 356 times)
rogeronetwothree
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: June 09, 2015, 04:32:24 AM »

I was directed here by a friend because they feel my ex has all the qualities of someone with BPD. The relationship is over, but I haven't gotten past it. The story is lengthy, but I don't want to leave anything out. I really need help with this and don't have the resources or coping tools to deal with it.

I met my ex 6 years ago. We were just friends but the tension was there. We finally got together and she was moving to L.A to pursue her dream. I promised to be there in a few months so it was long distance. She even asked me if her best friend(who is a psyco) could move in with me because of relationship problems. We hated living with her but I said yes, because I would do anything for her.  We got along fine and talked every day. I finally went to go see her in L.A, and we were having a lot of fun. We went into a mattress store and started looking for a bed. The salesman was quite aggressive and we got into a tiff. I told him to have a good day and we left. After that, she became skittish, hyper, and started acting very strange. She didn't tell me anything was wrong, but it made me quite nervous. I flew home. I called her to let her know I got home and she lashed out at me violently. She was vile to me over the phone, and said that my visit was a pre-screening, and I apparently failed it. She broke up with me as soon as I got off the plane, and left me devastated.

Over a year later, I had moved to Austin, and ended another relationship at the time. We re-connected and were just getting along as friends. Well, the feelings rose again and she came to see me for five days. Everything was perfect. We had a wonderful time and the sex was incredible(it always was.) I find out when she gets home, that she was actually dating someone for a couple of weeks, and broke up with him to come and see me so she could do everything she wanted, goes home and gets back together with him after giving me hope that we had a chance.

Everything in Austin fell through, so I moved back home, which she didn't expect. I find out she lived down the street and ended up engaged to the guy she was seeing. I became his friend, for her. She was very charming and very persuasive. I was seeing someone as well, and things weren't working out. She starts telling me about how unhappy she is in her relationship and how horrible she is. I believed her. My situation was coming to an end and we we're trying to help eachother. One night, we decided to go out together without our SO's. We drank too much and slept together. I regret it immensely. I've NEVER cheated on anyone before. My relationship ended and she tried to keep hers going. She sent me an email saying that he is trying and that I'm an angry person, so on and so on. She basically said it's never going to happen and take care.

Many months went by. I was alone, depressed, and because of how sad she made me feel, I attempted suicide. The reason I'm still here is because the gun jammed. Yes... .jammed. Months go by, and low and behold there she is again. She didn't start with hello or I miss you. She just went off about how her new boyfriend had a serious coke problem and she didn't know what to do. I helped her through it like I usually do, and a few weeks later, wet met up. She looked horrible. I felt bad for her. She had stepped down from her position at work because she had taken a bunch of pills and collapsed in the shower. She claimed she wasn't trying to kill herself, but later on she told everyone she did. We started hanging out, and we got together. The next three months were great. We went out, had fun,  had sex every night, and I was happy. One morning she completely switches gears, breaks up with me, quits her job, leaves the state and goes home to Michigan. She suffers from treatment resistant depression so she was constantly trying to get treatment for it. I was texted with "It's not going to work. Sorry." I was devastated again. AFTER she breaks up with me, I help her pack, take her out for her last night in town, and she drives away with a smile. She even told me she loved me. I was crushed.

Three months go by. I'm seeing other people, and things are getting better for me. All of a sudden, here she comes again. "I left because I'm afraid to love you" was her intro this time. Well we decided to take it slow, and after putting my eggs in one basket too many times before, I decided to continue dating other people. This is also not something I've ever done before. I just want to put that out there.

She visits me in October of 2013. We have a wonderful time. We decided to keep it going and we were going to move somewhere together. I didn't trust her completely though, and I was right not too. One month later, she cheated  on me and called it an accident. I didn't find out until 8 months later. She found out that I was seeing other people casually, and she was furious. She blamed everything on me, punished me, amputated me and now I'm at the silent treatment. My mom says I'll hear from her again, but I don't think so. Anyway, I'm a disaster. She got away scott free and left me with all the damage. Here I am now. What do you think?
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UserName69
AKA double_edge, Mr.Jason, Bradley101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 276



« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2015, 09:00:45 AM »

I can relate to a lot of things you have experienced. My exBPD is the same like yours.

We broke up for 14 times in 6 months. Once when we broke up I met an another girl. I told her that I met her and she freaked out while she told me before that she doesn't want me. Later she found out that I had a date with this girl and then she wanted to commit suicide.

Later I decided to move on and kept dating the new girl. What a relief. Really your exBPD is history now, there is no going back, I consider mine dead. You're better off with an another girl.
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