My BPD is my husband- we are separated 4 months and living in the same house

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hello

My dear friend whom has been through a relationship with a BPD spouse suggested I join this group. I am married to a BPD. I filed for divorce in June, after his diagnosis was explained to me by two therapists and he refused to admit and get help. I have three teenage boys and they live with me full time, my husband and I are a second marriage and my children are from my first marriage. I had never heard of BPD, however every article I read is like reading about my own life. I am hoping to get some good support here. I am a professional executive and live in Atlanta. My husbands first marriage ended the same way, as I have been informed by his brother not too long ago. He is very mean to me continually, and I just wish he would leave me alone. He sends me text messages ranting about nothing I can ever make sense of. Continues to blame me and my kids for doing things that are not true. My fear is after the divorce and he is out of our lives, he will continue to "harass" me. I am in therapy as are my kids and I have an amazing support group of friends and family, however, most do not really understand the magnitude of what BPD is. My husband has a terribly dark childhood, filled with emotional and physical abuse as well as abandonment by his natural father twice for years on end- to the point his mother changed the last names of her 3 children to her step fathers last name, then 10 years later remarried his natural father changing the kids names back to their fathers last name. Within that 10 year span, his mother remarried another man whom abused my husband the most. His mother also had an affair with a married man, and his youngest brother was the result of that affair. I believe, although dont have proof that my BP husband has had many affairs over the course of our marriage. In the beginning he loved me so much- or so he said and acted, over time he grew resentful and angry at me for no real reason, and blames me for everything. I am happy I am getting myself and my children out of this terrible nightmare at the same time sad.  Thank you for reading and any thoughts, advice is much welcomed!

[mm1024]

Hello

My dear friend whom has been through a relationship with a BPD spouse suggested I join this group. I am married to a BPD. I filed for divorce in June, after his diagnosis was explained to me by two therapists and he refused to admit and get help. I have three teenage boys and they live with me full time, my husband and I are a second marriage and my children are from my first marriage. I had never heard of BPD, however every article I read is like reading about my own life. I am hoping to get some good support here. I am a professional executive and live in Atlanta. My husbands first marriage ended the same way, as I have been informed by his brother not too long ago. He is very mean to me continually, and I just wish he would leave me alone. He sends me text messages ranting about nothing I can ever make sense of. Continues to blame me and my kids for doing things that are not true. My fear is after the divorce and he is out of our lives, he will continue to "harass" me. I am in therapy as are my kids and I have an amazing support group of friends and family, however, most do not really understand the magnitude of what BPD is. My husband has a terribly dark childhood, filled with emotional and physical abuse as well as abandonment by his natural father twice for years on end- to the point his mother changed the last names of her 3 children to her step fathers last name, then 10 years later remarried his natural father changing the kids names back to their fathers last name. Within that 10 year span, his mother remarried another man whom abused my husband the most. His mother also had an affair with a married man, and his youngest brother was the result of that affair. I believe, although dont have proof that my BP husband has had many affairs over the course of our marriage. In the beginning he loved me so much- or so he said and acted, over time he grew resentful and angry at me for no real reason, and blames me for everything. I am happy I am getting myself and my children out of this terrible nightmare at the same time sad.  Thank you for reading and any thoughts, advice is much welcomed!

[Lucky Jim]

Hey mm1024, Welcome!  You have come to a good place, where we really "get it" when it comes to BPD.  Your experience is pretty common:

I had never heard of BPD, however every article I read is like reading about my own life.

Who knew?  I was married for 9 years before I learned about BPD.  We never covered that in Psych 101 in college!

There is a wealth of information on this site, so look around and keep asking questions.  We are all happy to help.

LuckyJim