Finally i enjoy life

[hibye]

Hello all, my SO was suffering from BPD, we broke up and for the past 7 months she has moved in with my replacement.

Joining this forum, reading articles and books was a way for me to start healing. Knowing who i am, why i behave-d like this and the connection with my childhood was vital. When i acknowledged my faults I started feeling more secure and committed to change. I Started respecting and loving me, forgiving her-us for what we've been through.

Afterwards i found a new gf at the perfect timing. Our relationship is just flowing without pushing things. She respects me and make me feel wanted. We are so happy together that i have no reason to be stuck in the past. I love my ex, she was a part of my life, a part that helped me learn myself and be a better person and i owe this to her.

A week ago she sent me a message but i didn't respond. I may respond if she insists but without making a conversation. I want her to be well and that's it.

Hope you all find something to fulfill you because you all deserve it. We just can't match with anybody so move on   Take care

[hopealways]

Nice to hear you are doing well.  Seems like 6 months is the minimum time we need to move forward, although it is different for everyone.  Also, the concept of forgiveness and accepting responsibility seem to have helped you move forward. I hope they will also help me to move forward.

[Kelli Cornett]

Everyone's healing process is different.

[Michelle27]

Everyone's healing process is different.

Yes, it is.  I had begun detaching for the last year or two of my marriage but didn't work on healing until a few months before we separated.  The separation was part of my healing journey.  A few months into the separation, I met the man I've been seeing and I was crystal clear with him that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship, the damage of my past and that I was on a healing journey.  We decided to just go with it and see what happens.  He has actually helped me a lot in healing, is respectful and understanding when things come up as a result of my past and does a great job being patient when I need that.  He's helping me work through my co-dependence, PTSD like symptoms and we are both learning as we go.  We are both aware that this may not work long term, but in the meantime, it's nice having someone who respects me totally, is open and honest and is the first man in my life who has ever filled a "protector" type role.  It's not always easy, but it's been definitely healing.