My first post: Text Messages

[idahobpd]

The other night we went out for drinks and dancing with friends.  We met a woman through one of our friends at the club.  I talked to her a bunch while my BPD girlfriend danced suggestively with another guy.  I did not complain.  Anyway, the woman gave me her realty card and I put it in my pocket.  Later that night, I looked over and this other woman was crying.  I texted her the next morning to make sure she was OK.  We texted a bit before my girlfriend noticed and demanded my phone.  I gave it to her and she accused me of flirting with this woman.  None of that is true but she first told me it was over then I was told how flawed I am.  Needless to say, I have caught her in several lies including the time she brought a guy home which was confirmed by the neighbors and a video feed.  The problem is that she carps on something so minor like my texts but tells me that I am dredging up the past or casting blame on her when I bring up her infidelity.  I have learned it best not to say anything.  Has anyone else had this issue?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Fian]

Dating is different than marriage, but as you progress towards marriage, you will find that you need to tone down your relationships with the opposite sex.  If your spouse behaves in a different way than what she wants from you, you would in the right for her to hold herself to the same standard.  But I doubt she will agree with a more open relationship - the way to balance things is for her to become less friendly to the opposite sex.  This isn't a BPD issue, normal couples have the same problem.  BPD just makes the issue stronger.