daughter accused my husband of molestation

[graced333]

Hi - I'm in alot of pain this moment. Even though the accusation my older daughter made was 20 years ago, we have never really dealt with this. Initially, I believed her words. But, after a few days, did not. She hated her younger half sister so much at the time, it seems that she wanted to wound her. I drank and took benzos after this accusation and now am trying to come to terms with how to best address this, as I am now sober. Help please!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Graced333:

Congrats on achieving sobriety!  I'm so sorry you are in such a tough situation.  You mention the accusation occurred 20 years ago.  Is it her step-father that your daughter accused?  Is everyone still in contact with each other, or is anyone estranged?

Has your older daughter been diagnosed with BPD?  How old was she when she made the accusation?

If you are able to share more details, it could lead to obtaining more helpful information for your situation. 

[graced333]

Hi - thanks for your response. Yes, it was her stepfather. At the time we did try and start counseling - she was 19 the time, so I never knew her diagnosis. The counselor, for some reason sent all my money back and she discontinued counseling for some reason. My daughter  moved away for a long time, married had a child of her own. We are now trying to establish a relationship, but she is all over the place with her emotions and words.