This NC is killing me!
It's hard for me today.
This is extremely hard for me.
It seems so illogical and counter-intuitive.
So maybe we don't swing the pendulum so far to the right.
Usually when "no contact" is being recommended to a couple [by a professional], it's to reduce conflict in the relationship. It's when people are so at odds with each other, it's actually counter-productive to speak to each other. It's a pragmatic approach to allow both parties to calm down and get themselves to a better place... so that they can start having productive conversations.
Sometimes when we attempt "no contact" for less pragmatic reasons, like to save ourselves from pain or to punish the other person, it usually ends up with us being caught up in our own turmoil.
When we split from someone, it's hard to go from 60 to 0. Even in divorce, couples take an adjustment period to disentangle themselves.
My thoughts are that you want each of you to have some space. That's a good step.
So maybe go from 60 to 20... or 10... or 5...
Keep it light.
Keep the pressure off both of you to find all the answers to your relationship now or tomorrow.
If she emails you about work, politely respond to her. You don't have to reach out to her if you think that it will cause issues. I get that.
If you want to leave the door cracked for your relationship, keep it cracked. If you completely shut down and ostracize her, my thoughts are that you're going to be sending her a clear message that you don't want her in your life.
If you keep it light, non committal, and fun - you'll both feel more relaxed about the situation and allow you both some space to take a deep breath and figure out what it is you really want and what it is that you really don't want.
It's the balance between emotion and knowledge --- it's the proverbial sweet spot between making decisions with your heart (but I love her!) and making decisions with your mind (but she's not good for me!).
It's what Meili was suggesting in the link he shared about Wise Mind.
It's hard, I know.