Learning the ropes/so many questions

[swamptown]

Adult brother has recently been diagnosed as BPD w/ narcissistic traits.  Seems to really be in a spiral right now and we are all at a loss for how to handle.  Sympathy/empathy does not seem to be effective.  Residential treatment has been recommended and it has made him furious.  Thoughts?  Advice?   

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Swamptown:   
I'm so sorry about what's going on with your brother.  I can see how distressing it must be for your family.  Was there a particular event that led to his diagnosis?  Is he married, living on his own or with your parents?

What are some of the most distressing behaviors, that are part of his current spiral?

If you look at the very top of the page, you will see a wide green banner,  There is a "Tools" menu there, that has some helpful links.  That can be a good place to start learning some skills that can be helpful to you in interacting with your brother.

All you have control over is how you interact with and react to your brother.  By setting boundaries and using various communication skills, you can make things less distressing for you.

Is your brother cooperating with out-patient treatment?  Perhaps some meds and/or therapy?

[Turkish]

How has the family berm demonstrating sympathy/empathy?

A Dx, while on the surface may seem good,  can sometimes result in more severe behaviors. Cancer,  for example,  is what you have.  Bi-polar might be taken in a similar manner ("I have a chemical imbalance" whereas, diagnosis of a personality disorder can be taken as "there's something wrong with me as a person," i.e., identity. 

If he's been recommended to a residential treatment center,  is there also a dual-diagnosis of substance abuse?

Naughty Nibbler pointed you towards lessons here,  which contain communication techniques developed by leading experts in the disorder. 

One of the core emotions of a pwBPD  (person with BPD) is shame ("I'm a bad person,  and unloveable".  Trying to validate while not hitting that target is hard,  to be sure., but we can help 

If your brother has narcissistic traits as well,  this might help.  Tell me what you think:

Dealing with narcissists by reinforcing the positive

Turkish