Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 18, 2024, 11:53:57 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
222
Pages: 1   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: "Love" TV Series on Netflix: anyone realize the main character Mickey is BPD?  (Read 1088 times)
hopealways
aka moving4ward
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« on: March 17, 2017, 08:03:09 PM »

Has anyone watched the new TV Series on Netflix called "Love"? I realized that the main character played by Gillian Jacobs (Mickey) is totally BPD. Very well done.  She's not as evil as some BPD I have known but displays the Constant push/pull / troubled / Love & Sex addict / alcoholic / impulsive/ Cheats / lack of identity / troubled household / lies / chaotic relationship / dating a codependent.

I highly recommend watching it. It gave me even better insight into my own relationship and can help the detachment process and realizing that this is just how they are: it is not personal what they do, they are just like terrified children.
Logged
whitebackatcha
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221



« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2017, 10:34:23 PM »

It is fascinating that you would say this. It never crossed my mind that she had BPD... .but my exBPDgf said she strongly related to that character. I am watching the second season now, from the perspective of having been out of that relationship for several months, and it makes me feel more empathetic toward her. You are right, it's not personal. They (generally) screw everything up, no matter who it is with, and don't know how to stop it.

What bothers me is that I have always seen parts of myself in Gus, how he is so patient and long suffering. I feel like he is seen as a good person, and I'm personally just really sick of being a "good person." We are too easily taken advantage of. Stop being nice to her! Stop being understanding! I just want to shake him (and obviously myself).
Logged

hopealways
aka moving4ward
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2017, 02:11:30 AM »

Yes the second season shows way more BPD traits than the first.

Interesting what you say about Gus because we presume that we should stop being so nice to the BPD when the reality is nice or mean or anything in between they will remain BPD. BPD will not be cured by us stop being nice. There is nothing we can do to change their personality.
Logged
whitebackatcha
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221



« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2017, 02:53:32 AM »

Interesting what you say about Gus because we presume that we should stop being so nice to the BPD when the reality is nice or mean or anything in between they will remain BPD. BPD will not be cured by us stop being nice. There is nothing we can do to change their personality.

This is true. I think I just really believed that if I was nice enough, I would change her. Now I feel taken advantage of. What's funny is that one of the last things I told her was that she was nicer to people who were mean to her than she was to me. I think she wouldn't have discarded me repeatedly if I hadn't been nice, and if I had been more distant. But no, it wouldn't have actually cured her.

I feel like the show makes it seem like she is willing to change because Gus is worth changing for. That part bothers me. She's still difficult, but he's patient and so it works out, even if it isn't perfect.
Logged

Anez
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 430


« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2017, 02:00:04 PM »

Yup! I quit watching the second season because of it. Looked way too familiar to me.

Logged
aj4599
**
Offline Offline

Posts: 57


« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2017, 02:51:55 PM »

I couldn't stop watching this. It was like watching a car wreck, and I was the one driving the car.

Mickey's need for attention/affection. The hiding of text messages. The relapse with her ex, and then the desperate lengths she went to to hide it. The way she'd do something with the ex, then immediately text gus that she missed him. The way she used people in her life when she needed them, for what she needed. The random outbursts over seemingly little things, and struggle with seperation.

Haha, and in this case, it really hit home for me because the ex she relapsed and cheated on Gus with had the sick/dying dog. My ex, similarly, cheated on me when her exes dog god sick and died... .and the dogs even had the same name!

And gus, he isnt a "good guy." He is selfish also, maybe not as sick as Mickey, but he would do a lot of things "for her" but actually they'd be for him.

It was SO painful to watch, but so distinctly similar that I couldn't help watching something that felt like my own life playing out on the screen in front of me.
Logged
Sunfl0wer
`
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: He moved out mid March
Posts: 2583



« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2017, 03:40:58 PM »

Excerpt
And gus, he isnt a "good guy." He is selfish also, maybe not as sick as Mickey, but he would do a lot of things "for her" but actually they'd be for him. 
I agree.

Gus is huge people pleaser who seems to have less sense of self than maybe even Mickey.  He has as little boundaries as she does.

Many may want to polarize a r/s with a pwBPD as a "good guy" Vs "sick person" but the reality is we are all adults and equal participants in the dynamics of the relationships we choose to participate in.

How we frame our experiences, as a "victim," vs "participant" who is not at all helpless, is telling, and powerful for ourself.
... .just my two cents atm.
Logged

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
whitebackatcha
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221



« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2017, 04:14:18 PM »

Many may want to polarize a r/s with a pwBPD as a "good guy" Vs "sick person" but the reality is we are all adults and equal participants in the dynamics of the relationships we choose to participate in.

How we frame our experiences, as a "victim," vs "participant" who is not at all helpless, is telling, and powerful for ourself.
... .just my two cents atm.

True. Part of this, for some of us, is being able to acknowledge that what happened was wrong, and that we should have expected better treatment . We were being "nice" to someone at the expense of being nice to ourselves.

Season two sounds a lot different than season one, I guess I'm glad I've been forewarned.
Logged

hopealways
aka moving4ward
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2017, 05:50:33 PM »

Season 2 Episode 12 towards the end really hit me when Mickey's ex who she has been sleeping with barges into Gus's apartment while Gus is gone to confront Mickey.

The ex who now wants Mickey (the BPD) back tells her: "I am here to fight for you. You are going to destroy Gus."

To which she responds: "Maybe I will but I need to figure that out on my own."

Gus then comes back home, the ex escapes to the balcony only to witness Mickey having sex with Gus.

Complete lack of empathy, she does not really have the capacity to care about how it would feel to destroy another human nor does it bother her that her ex is seeing her have sex minutes after discarding him AGAIN.
Logged
bansh

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 13


« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2017, 08:07:49 AM »

Weird, I tried searching the site for reference of this show, but it didn't come up (I found this post through Google).

I gave this show a shot, with nothing known other then "uhg, another Apatow product?" and expected to not make it through the first episode.  Now it's one of the more important shows I've found. It's strangely cathartic to watch, and have been dying to see others' insight on it around these parts.

"Holy Bullet: comment directed to __ (click to insert in post)$@" is the first thing I thought after just a couple episodes of the first season. It's so realistic it's almost like a simulator. I haven't really seen much else that comes close to depicting those certain nuances familiar to a lot of us here.

Supposedly it's based (however loosely) and Paul Rust's relationship with co-creator Leslie Afrin. I have no idea how that would work, whilst being in the relationship. I remember being so drained all the time I'd be lucky to wrap my head around it long enough to write in my journal when I could, or even post here. My brain was like a constant wrung out sponge. If not for that, sadly some of it would've made for some entertaining stories. How Rust and Afrin can create a show whislt still in it amazes me (If I'm remembering what I read correctly).  Of course I haven't seen any full blown cyclonic fits out of Micky, just bursts.

I think the ex (who tried to warn another guy about Micky last season), re-realized that she will do far more damage to Gus then him confronting him could do, and wound up empathizing with him once he got reminded what Micky does, from a different perspective.



Season 2 Episode 12 towards the end really hit me when Mickey's ex who she has been sleeping with barges into Gus's apartment while Gus is gone to confront Mickey.

The ex who now wants Mickey (the BPD) back tells her: "I am here to fight for you. You are going to destroy Gus."

To which she responds: "Maybe I will but I need to figure that out on my own."

Gus then comes back home, the ex escapes to the balcony only to witness Mickey having sex with Gus.

Complete lack of empathy, she does not really have the capacity to care about how it would feel to destroy another human nor does it bother her that her ex is seeing her have sex minutes after discarding him AGAIN.

Logged
OnceEngaged001

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 25


« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2017, 04:36:32 PM »

Started watching this series, man, I can see the resemblance(on Mickey's side with my ex)
Logged
OnceEngaged001

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 25


« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2017, 10:04:59 PM »

Season 2 episode 1 even more relating. She wanted to be alone after we broke up this 2nd time. And then she just went straight into another relationship the same day we broke up.
Logged
bunny4523
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 438


« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2017, 10:31:22 AM »

It gave me even better insight into my own relationship and can help the detachment process and realizing that this is just how they are: it is not personal what they do, they are just like terrified children.

Once I was able to understand it was a disorder and it wasn't personal... .I was able to let go of alot of the pain.  Anytime I would get upset thinking about the things he would say or do, I would just repeat "he is not well"  over and over. It helped.  Trying to make any sense of his irrational thoughts and behaviors was the hardest part for me. Once I got past that, it made it alot easier to move on.

Not sure I can watch that show just yet.  I don't want to remember the feelings I had in that relationship... .I'm glad for now that I have forgotten.  But I will remember the name of the series and maybe one day watching it won't trigger me as much.

Bunny
Logged
OnceEngaged001

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 25


« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2017, 08:04:52 PM »

I agree with that bunny. This second time around her leaving me for another guy didn't hurt so bad because I knew something is wrong. I just watched season 2 episode 9 and the fight they had really threw me back in my seat
Logged
whitebackatcha
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221



« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2017, 02:46:58 AM »

I agree with that bunny. This second time around her leaving me for another guy didn't hurt so bad because I knew something is wrong. I just watched season 2 episode 9 and the fight they had really threw me back in my seat

I just watched that episode tonight, and it was upsetting. One of my exBPDgf's biggest issues with me was that she felt I didn't give her enough space, even while she gave me reasons to be anxious. But from Mickey's perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong (yet), so Gus has no reason to be anxious. It's also been hard to watch how Gus slowly starts indicating that he isn't fully accepting of her habits, but hasn't been direct about it. I know I didn't want to admit to myself that certain things bothered me, never mind say it to my ex.
Logged

lost_in_translation

*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 28


« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2017, 05:27:02 AM »

I just finished watching the 2nd season.  I see a lot of the same behaviors in Mickey that my ex exhibited, but Mickey is a lot more self-aware than she ever was.  My ex would never admit to any problems and I honestly feel like she had no idea of the destruction she caused.  Her denial ran so deep that she had ZERO self-awareness.  It still blows my mind that she couldn't see the hurt she caused.
Logged
OnceEngaged001

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 25


« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2017, 09:03:09 PM »

Asking for space and then getting scared of the space... .Frustrating. These fights between Mickey and Gus seem so surreal.
Logged
whitebackatcha
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221



« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2017, 11:04:54 PM »

I just finished watching the 2nd season.  I see a lot of the same behaviors in Mickey that my ex exhibited, but Mickey is a lot more self-aware than she ever was. 

Mine was fairly self aware (at times), but was MUCH less able to consistently connect than Mickey. When My ex got upset, she certainly wasn't able to accept comfort, or talk through it at the end. She didn't feel comfortable with closeness and affection like Mickey, either.
Logged

whitebackatcha
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221



« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2017, 11:09:36 PM »

Asking for space and then getting scared of the space... .Frustrating. These fights between Mickey and Gus seem so surreal.

You know, mine didn't seem to mind space. At all. I generally felt like her idea of a good relationship was (metaphorically) sitting in a room with me, with us each doing our own thing, without deeper connection. She wanted to talk multiple times every day, but it took awhile of me not initiating if I was trying to back off before she would act frustrated by it. This seems uncommon for BPDs, from what I've seen.
Logged

Sadly
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Very Single
Posts: 886



« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2017, 04:36:25 PM »

Never heard of it, never seen it and after reading these posts never will, sorry. I lived with this for 2.5 years, that wasn't entertainment either.
Love from
Sadly x
Logged

Never let someone be your priority whilst you remain their option
hopealways
aka moving4ward
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2017, 05:04:03 PM »

Asking for space and then getting scared of the space... .Frustrating. These fights between Mickey and Gus seem so surreal.
They want space because they have engulfment fears.
But they when you give them space they get abandonment fears.
It's a vicious cycle that never ends.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: 1   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!