Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 06:44:01 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: i think i should leave  (Read 589 times)
Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« on: April 07, 2017, 02:13:42 PM »

I don't know where to begin... .it has been too many years of this. I am so exhausted from always trying to please and change and still be told that whatever i have done still isn't good enough. the unjust and irrational accusations of me cheating or lying or hiding things. when i don't  and keep trying to prove it with no success.  I have had multiple counsellors and therapists tell me i an in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. i don't go out often for when i do, i am accused of being somewhere else. etc etc etc. i don't know what i am looking for here. maybe just a place to vent.  maybe i need to hear that this will be life if i chose to stay. i have a son and he get mixed signals from my husband too which i worry about his mental well being... this is where i will start... .
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2017, 03:42:08 PM »

 
Welcome

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. 

I'm glad you have found us.  We really are a place with people that "get it".  We know what it's like to be told irrational things... .then question if they really are irrational... .to almost believe that it is our fault.  Then have a moment of clarity... .then get sucked back in.

You said it best... ."exhausting"

Accusations were a big part of my relationship... .I've pretty much beaten them.  Are you interested in learning how I got them to go away... .? 

Accusations such as having an out of wedlock child... .another wife... .plain ol' "woman on the side" accusations were dime a dozen... .

Anyway... .is the son yours and he is a step dad?  Tell me more about your son.

Can you give me some word for word from the last time you were "accused" of something?

We can help... .   Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2017, 04:50:34 PM »

my husband is my son's father. My husband always calls me a cheater, says i am on dating sites. the last time was a couple weekends ago when i went to spend the night with a girlfriend who is dealing with depression and some life changing issues. so when i got home, he asked where i really was even though he spoke to me while i was there.  then about an hour later, for no reason called me a cheater.  i pay our bills from work since he has hacked into some of my banking and itunes accounts. either he just knows me really well and figures out what i think are strong passwords or he has installed something on the computer to track my keystrokes. we have separate bank accounts since he spends everything he has and i like to save. He just now found out i pay the bills from work, after months of doing so, he has nothing to do with the bills,so of course, it means i am hiding something.  i would love to know what i could possibly be hiding on our utility bills... .
Logged
ACObound
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 61


« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2017, 05:05:44 PM »

Hey Kait,  I can sympathize with you on the bill paying.  I did the same thing, separated accounts etc.  What I wish I would have done different is been right up front about it.  Do it and tell my pwBPD why I was doing it.  She then could have choose whether to like it or not.  I understand why I didn't (co-dependency comes to mind for me) but  by not telling her I think I made that choice for her.  All of this is exhausting, I am on the path of ending a 38+ year(36 of them married to u/BPDw) because I am exhausted.   In only learned of BPD a year ago.  You can and will get alot of help here.
Good luck
Logged
Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2017, 10:48:07 PM »

Ok so tonight I Am in the dog house and my husband isn't talking to me cuz I got a message from some woman he was trying to talk to on Facebook. She sent me screen shots of how he started his message. I know exactly what he said.  I don't want him to know who told me as I assume there are many more. He said he doesn't believe me cuz I won't show him the screenshot. He is now mad at me and not talking to me. Tonight he took off without telling me or saying where he's going. This is normal behavior for him. I have proof he is doing the things he is accusing me of doing. Which I am not in any way shape or form. This isn't the first time I have caught him with something like this. But it's always my fault for some reason.  I am thankful for the woman who let me know. I now see that if you view his profile when you are not his friend, it doesn't say he's married. He also changed his profile pic from one of him and I to one of him and our son the day after she called him on being married and rejected him. He of course after that had some rude words of his own back to her. So tired of this
Logged
Inneedofhelp
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 66


« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2017, 12:50:32 AM »

Your story sounds so familiar-sorry you are dealing with this too. My separated hwBPD had multiple affairs (which is the reason we separated), but he has often accused me of being with other people-completely not true. We have been apart for almost 6 years (married total of 17) and the intensity of his irrational behavior and rage has only gotten worse as I have tried to separate from him and build back my life. I think as he sees his control over forcing me to support and comfort him slipping away, he can't take any responsibility for it due to his BPD so instead it must be something bad I am doing-his accusations include being with other people or just me being a cold hearted awful person. I too am completely exhausted by him, and only now have sought out a knowledgeable therapist to help me set more boundaries and finally detach from this nightmare of a situation. The complication is that we have 2 children.
Logged
Inneedofhelp
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 66


« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2017, 12:53:30 AM »



You said it best... ."exhausting"

Accusations were a big part of my relationship... .I've pretty much beaten them.  Are you interested in learning how I got them to go away?

[/quote]

Formflier I am interested to know how you got the accusations to go away.
Logged
Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2017, 07:46:10 AM »

Oh the rage.  So much of it.  It's tough when you have kids. The sad thing is they get treated the same way. My husband says they are disrespectful. I told him you get what you give. I never had this much drama and game playing Denice high school.
Logged
Inneedofhelp
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 66


« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2017, 09:35:42 AM »

The rage is scary. How old are your children? I just heard the "disrespect" argument 2 nights ago. Why are we allowing this to control our lives? Have you read "Stop walking on eggshells"?. I just started-it helps to feel like we are not alone and it's not our fault.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2017, 09:36:16 AM »

Formflier I am interested to know how you got the accusations to go away.

Big picture:  Stop engaging or paying attention to them.  There are usually some sort of threats that go with it, so I adopted an attitude/boundary of "I don't do threats... .period".

So... .the instant a threat is out there... .I'm done with the conversation and I go enjoy myself doing something else.

Sort of a two pronged approach on accusations.

1.  Stop invalidating:  I used to "prove" the accusations were incorrect.  Logically you would think this would make it better, however, it has the opposite effect.    It "feeds the monster.   So... stop feeding the monster.

2.  I would listen to some of the accusations and ask reflective questions to see if I could find a "validation target".  Note:  I would only do this when I felt good and was in tip top shape.  Otherwise, I would usually walk away.  The last think you want to do is "miss" the validation target (the emotion they are experiencing).  

So... if she would identify it or the issue I would try to validate and/or empathize.  

If she upped the ante and blasted at me, I would exit.  Exiting with less drama is better.


So... .

bad example what I used to do. (real life example)

"I know there is not a Burger King in (name of town) so I know that you are lying to me, which means you met (name of lady) and did (describe whacky sex act)... ."

thinking myself wise I drove her to the town 30 minutes away and took her to the non-existent Burger King.  Forced her to admit that she was eating at a Burger King and that I was telling her the truth.  She would then lash out and say that I still "wanted" to do (whacky sex act) with that lady.  I would go bonkers because it was so unreasonable... .and she would say my bonkers meant I was hiding other women... . Oh what fun those days were... (that example was three to four years ago)

Once I could keep my composure in the face of accusations, I would ask how she felt.  She would normally give her opinion of my feelings.  "It would mean a lot to me if you would share your feelings with me, not your opinions of my feelings... .especially feelings I don't have."

She got really tired of banging her head against that and it slowly petered out.  I would change up the wording every few weeks and then months... .

Very important to avoid yes you are no your are not type of arguments.

"You are in love with xyz" (someone other that your SO).  Logically... ."no I'm not" is the quick answer.

For a pwBPD I have found "If you want to know my feelings about someone... .please ask"

Another big picture thing:  Get off the witness stand... .(figuratively)

Hope this helps... .what questions do you guys have about what I have written?

FF  

Logged

formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2017, 09:43:48 AM »

 The sad thing is they get treated the same way. My husband says they are disrespectful. I told him you get what you give.  

"told him" is really explaining (not good).  He is likely to listen to actions.  He is unlikely to listen to words.

Much easier for you avoid the disrespect, because you can walk away.  It is important to find a way to get the kids out of the line of fire.  It's also important for kids to see you stand up for them.

Before trying anything in this regard... .important to talk it through on these boards and a family therapist, if that is possible.

As a for instance, in my house my current tactic, which seems to be working well is to deny my wife an audience.  

I used to try to shut my wife down by telling her that she shouldn't be saying things in front of kids (adult topics).  

Now, I will invite my wife to go talk privately.  She used to refuse, so I would send the kids to their rooms.  No explanations of who did what wrong... . "Kids... .go to your rooms, Mommy and Daddy have things to talk about"  (no blame... .just simple actions are directed)

Yes... .first few times there was drama.  Now... .last 3-4 times I've asked my wife to speak privately... .she has done so.  Sure there was all kinds of eye rolling and disrespect (which I ignore) but the big goal is that her blather is out of earshot of the kids... .or at least muffled.

FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2017, 11:49:59 AM »

Our son is almost 9 and my step son is almost 19. He has left once for his moms be my husband said he couldn't come back. All he did was talk to his dad the same way his dad was talking to him. Do as I say not as I do. He is the perfect example of that. I have read walking on eggshells. It has helped me understand the disorder a bit more and had taught me not to take the hurtful words to heart. It hasn't helped me deal with the day to day ___. Day 2 of the silent treatment. When he talks he makes sure to say the persons name he means to speak to do that it is clear he is not talking to me. Last night at supper, I was last to make my plate and as I was doing so he started putting everything back in the fridge so that I had to pull it out again in order to eat. I have told him I am tired of his games and am not going to play them anymore. He says I am the one playing games. Not him.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2017, 07:44:22 PM »

 

So... .debating who is playing games only makes it worse... .I hope you see that.

"Please leave the food out until we are all done eating... "

leave it at that.

If he says no... .

"Help me understand what you are communicating?"

if he is still an jerk...

Go out to eat... .

Trying to convince him that he is being a jerk... .is likely not going to work any better than last few times it has been tried...

Hang in there...    

FF
Logged

Inneedofhelp
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 66


« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2017, 07:45:55 PM »

Thanks for the info formflier!
I can actually describe the same exact accusations inserting different location, different act. If I got upset he said I was hiding something, if I didn't react or tried to stay calm and refuse to engage, then he said I was avoiding and hiding something.
Since the last very dramatic explosion, I have taken the position of trying to avoid talking about anything. It is the first few days of peace I have had in a while. Unfortunately I anticipate that he will be looking to engage me soon-I would be happy to stay virtually NC, except then he says I'm getting in the way of his interaction with the kids. Seems like no win.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2017, 08:24:06 PM »


pwBPD:  You are hiding something... .

non:  Omigosh... .is there something you are concerned about?  (surprise and concern)

pwBPD:  I'm concerned about what you are hiding... .

non:  (relaxed)  Babe... .if there is something in particular you would like to know about... .please ask and I will consider it. 

pwBPD:  you know what you are hiding

non:  I'm sure you would agree that mindreading is upsetting.  I'm going to take a break from this conversation before I say something I may regret.  I'll check back with you in 10 minutes.

Go get glass of water... .DO NOT engage, talk, debate... whatever... for 10 minutes.

wash rinse... repeat except perhaps go 20 minutes... .then say you will wait until tomorrow... .longer and longer.

wash rinse repeat.

Thoughts?

FF

Logged

formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2017, 08:26:28 PM »


After a few weeks of the above, if it is not getting better, then you will have to look for a different tactic.

I have heard of some people that say "I will discuss accusations only with a therapist... .we have an appointment in two days and can talk about it then... ."  something like that.

This is NOT where to start... .but might be a place to end.   

Big picture:  The accuse... .DO NOT specifically answer the accusation.  DO NOT reward unhealthy conversation.

FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2017, 09:41:18 PM »

I have tried to say I am not talking about this right now and he continues to follow me. To the bathroom, outside to bed where ever. He knows my boundary is once the our downs and name calling start the wall goes up and I am done. But even if I walk away he will follow. If for some reason he doesn't then he says I am walking away as usual. No matter what I am always in the wrong. Just like me being upset about a strange female messaging me to tell me my husband has been trying to message her. Somehow I am the one being punished.  I am trying to act like I don't care. Going about my business around the house like he isn't even there. Not acknowledging him at all. This is his choice. He is the one who did something wrong not me. I just confronted him.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2017, 11:07:54 PM »


What do you do if he follows you?

Here is the thing... .you don't get ANY control over what he does... .he gets to say whatever he wants as you leave.

He doesn't get to have ANY control of your ears leaving or staying... .that is your choice. 

As you watch his behavior, you may figure out that you need to "move up" your choice to leave so that you avoid the words you don't want to hear.

It is important that you not talk while leaving... .just leave.  It is usually good if you can create a timeframe to be back.  That is something you will have to play with over time.

Finally consistency is key.

FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2017, 12:50:32 AM »

Well tonight he said he is done. I said I think I might be too. It's not the first time he has said this but he thinks we should tell people so this time might be different. We or should I say he talked about it for awhile. Apparently I am lying about the screenshots I have from this female since I won't show them to him. Truthfully I am sick and tired of having to prove myself to him. I have had to show receipts and the time stamps. Not cuz he asked for them but because he accused me of not being eheee I said I was. Of course he has to put down me and my family. "We are all the same, liars and hiders" then he assured me that once all the divorce stuff is finalized, he will surely kill himself. Then I am to tell my son why daddy killed himself, because of me. After all I have read, I am not surprised he used this. But it still stings. I wanted to say that someone cannot make a person kill themselves but like most of the conversation I just remained quiet. Thanks for listening.
Logged
DearHusband
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 94


« Reply #19 on: April 09, 2017, 01:17:02 AM »

KAIT,

All very scary, but probably temporary. I know you have to take it seriously, but he didn't mention any immediate harm to himself and it's very likely just his way of ratcheting up the attention you give to him. Something along the lines of, "I hate you, don't leave me." Although, I  always thought it was more, "I hate you, please grovel to get me back."

Are you at the point yet where you care about him as a human being, but not as your spouse?

Good Luck
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #20 on: April 09, 2017, 08:04:07 AM »

  I have had to show receipts and the time stamps. Not cuz he asked for them but because he accused me of not being eheee I said I was. 


KAIT,

You have chosen to comply with his request.  This is feeding a dysfunctional need inside of him.  He probably can't explain or acknowledge that... .but please accept it is true.  More showing and proving is likely invalidating to his feelings.

He "feels" you were not there.  Proving that you are is very upsetting.  That feeling he gets likely "soothes" or "masks" a bigger issue going on.  It allows him to focus on an "external" cause for his pain (you) vice wrestling with his stuff...

It is your choice on how to continue  There is no choice where you DON'T show him and he is happy about it... .  He is an adult and can manage his emotions... or not.  Let him solve that.

About "being done"... .

I doubt it... .  He is looking for reassurance.  Most likely. 

Best response

him:  "I'm done... "

you:  "Oh my... .that saddens me... .I'm going to go collect my thoughts... ."  stay away from the debate and "talking"... .let him soothe himself.

   

I would not agree or disagree to tell others... .that is his choice.


FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2017, 08:12:49 AM »

Think that's exactly where I am. I love him like a family member. Since he hasn't officially been diagnosed, does everyone else agree that these behaviors and attitudes sound like BPD?
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2017, 03:30:52 PM »

A word of caution... .I wouldn't worry to much about "the diagnosis".  You can plainly see and experience the behaviors.

They are "BPDish".  The responses and strategies are to respond to the behavior... .not a diagnosis.

Diagnosis is good for professionals, for us... .we should focus on what we see and experience.

Make sense?



FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2017, 06:47:38 AM »

It does. I suppose how I am being treated is what matters and how I feel. I guess I would feel better about it all if I knew something wasn't "right"
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2017, 07:08:20 AM »

It does. I suppose how I am being treated is what matters and how I feel. I guess I would feel better about it all if I knew something wasn't "right"

I used to think about it EXACTLY like you just wrote.  Completely understandable.  When something has a name that you are sure of, it can be easier to do the hard things that may be asked of you.

I'm going to keep working on "mindset".  That is especially important to successfully learn and implement tools to help stabilize and then improve your relationship.

1.  Whatever you can do to stay away from right and wrong will help you.  Sure, there are absolutes that you can hold to, but even then, it is better to express them as "your values" vice a right and wrong.

2.  I think it is much more important to say "How I allow others to treat me... .".  Others will follow your ques, although pwBPDish tendencies will take a lot longer to change.

FF
Logged

byfaith
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 568


« Reply #25 on: April 10, 2017, 09:13:37 AM »

I suppose how I am being treated is what matters and how I feel. I guess I would feel better about it all if I knew something wasn't "right"

I came to a place that it did matter how badly I was being treated and it did matter how it made me feel on a consistent basis. Seeing and experiencing the patterns of behavior from my pwBPD traits proved to be too much FOR ME and my situation.

I love her as a human being and as a "friend" but not as a wife.

My hope is that you will be able to use the tools here and the advice to make a change in the way you approach your pwBPD traits.

I also had to realize I can't change my wife. All I can do is change myself. Then I had to decide after I made my changes what was I willing to live with if I didn't see a change enough in her.  You will know   

Logged
Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2017, 04:35:14 PM »

Well i was enjoying to peaceful time i was having now.  As usual, my husband is acting like nothing happened. no mention of him wanting a divorce or that he has now changed his mind about it.  I am thinking it may have been a tactic to take the attention of what he did away.  i haven't forgotten. i don't like confrontation, he knows that, so i haven't brought up anything either. i am so tired of him making a huge deal out of everything getting my emotions a mess and then acting like nothing ever happened... .while i enjoy the peace, i know it will happen all over again. just yesterday he made a comment of "i don't know what you do all day"  well ya he does. i am at work.  he is at home all day. if anyone should be saying that it's me. i want to stop this cycle, but i just don't have the mental or emotional strength...
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #27 on: April 19, 2017, 08:02:11 AM »

i am so tired of him making a huge deal out of everything getting my emotions a mess and then acting like nothing ever happened... .


 but i just don't have the mental or emotional strength...

Wanted to highlight a couple things.

When your husband makes "a huge deal" about xyz... .what can you do to protect yourself?

Is walking away an option?  "Babe... .this is too intense for me.  I'm going to take a 10 minute break and then come back to you."

What would happen if you did this?

I know this seems "immense" and would take a lot of strength to "fix".  I want to challenge you to  "just take a step". 

My suggestion is that we work on you "not participating" in a "HUGE DEAL".

Please understand... .you don't get a vote on your hubby's behavior.  He can make it a skyscraper if he wants... .let him. 

You get to go on your merry way.

FF
Logged

Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #28 on: April 20, 2017, 06:05:45 PM »

Aaaaaaand, back to square one... .
Logged
Kait

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13


« Reply #29 on: April 21, 2017, 01:34:20 PM »

well i told m hubby i don't like the way he is treating me.  name calling, locking me out of the bedroom while i have to get ready for work... .and now he told me he wants me out of our house this weekend... .
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!