Hello all, I’m new here

[Mama_of_BPD]

Honestly, I don’t know where to start. I’ve known since my son was approximately 3 years old that he had emotional issues. Everything with him was always “bigger” and more extreme. We’ve been down so many paths to try to find out what was wrong so that he could be helped but most diagnoses didn’t quite fit his behaviour. Medication for depression and anxiety and even violent tendencies never really helped and after one particularly bad year, with the support of his school social worker, special education teacher, child therapist at our local child mental health organization, his psychiatrist and family and children’s services (whom I called into my home due to my fear, and the fear that my other children had around their brother - I wanted them to come into our home and help me determine if I was just a bad mom and wasn’t parenting properly) at 16 years old I kicked my son out of my home and dropped him off at the local youth shelter. A lot has transpired since then. He is now 18; his disrespectful behaviour, his neediness, etc. seemed to continue to escalate.
I personally had a nervous breakdown finally on Oct 5th and have been off work every since. I’ve personally felt like he has sucked the life out of me and I just wanted to give up all together. A few weeks later, he asked to go to the hospital himself because he is constantly thinking about suicide. He was recently assessed and finally received the diagnosis of BPD which finally explains so much about his behaviour and why the methods I was using to cope (blocking communication, denying visits, etc.) seemed to cause things to escalate even worse.
I’m here because now that I know what is going on, I need to learn how to do better. I’m also trying to heal and wonder if anyone else was driven to a breakdown also. Over the years I’ve lost a few jobs due to his behaviours and the resulting time missed from work, crying at work, being late, etc.etc.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lightlove]

I'm living the nightmare too. I don't know the person who says she's my child anymore.  Our story is like something out of a movie.  I've anguished over what we might have done to cause her BPD.  I feel like such a failure as a mom.  I haven't had any contact with my adult daughter in 2 years.  I had to tell her psychiatrist she wasn't allowed in my home anymore because of her behavior.  She was constantly harming herself and I was working all day and sitting in the ER with her all night. I'm a teacher and she accused me of things that could've caused me to lose my job.  It was a nightmare.  She told medical personnel that I locked her in a room and withheld water from her, I made fun of her all her life, and that I assaulted her.  None of these are true  I feel like it's all a bad nightmare. 

[Yepanotherone]

Hi there Mama   in short , yes , I too almost had a breakdown caused solely because of my BPD DD . My own day of reckoning came to a head on her 17th birthday, we had been through absolute hell with her for 18 months  ... .every BPD  behavior you read about , she was exhibiting at this point and I was at breaking point . She had just been discharged from hospital the week previously( that was her 6th  hospitalization at that point ) , I had just found out about her substance abuse , she was being promiscuous and had a drug dealing boyfriend who was stirring the pot in creating a truelly awful abusive  relationship . I had spent so many nights wide awake for months . waiting for the next knock on the door from policemen doing “ wellness checks “ in the middle of the night or listening out for her sneaking out . Exhausted physically and emotionally and living on my last nerve , on the day of her birthday she lied about Still seeing her druggie boyfriend , I literally chased her down the street after she had pushed me through the doorway of our hone , calling me for everything. I watched her jump into her boyfriend’s car and it sped away with her laughing in it . I returned to the house and literally cried and cried . I called the state that day and asked them to take her away because I just couldn’t take anymore . I was on the phone most of the afternoon to support lines , trying to find something ... someone ... anything ... .. My husband came home from work to find me in a complete state . The evening just went from bad to worse , my DD refused to come home , we filed a police report , her friend eventually agreed to bring her home after I threatened this “ friend “ with police action for aiding a minor aged runaway. My DD eventually came in the door at 3 am ... .barged into our bedroom and literally screamed abuse at me for not buying her a birthday cake ! I was a “ f*****g B” apparently for failing to buy her a cake that day ... .despite all the events that had transpired !

That day I thought I had finally lost it . But no . Somehow or other , I found my calm again . There’s nothing else for it . Onwards and upwards .

I’m hoping for a much better birthday for her 18th in 2 months ! Fingers crossed . The signs are looking good so far