Sister-in-law is back at it

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Well, I'm here because, after having been raised by a mild BPD/npd mother, my brother went and married one who has (in my opinion) severe BPD/NPD and had two children with her.

After checking myself into hospital for two weeks and years of counselling, my counselor FINALLY pointed out that my mother was the problem and one can't be logical with crazy.

My brother has been married to my SIL for 26 years and she's causing problems AGAIN.  I've figured out how to deal with my mother because frankly, i love her and know how to handle her now.  My SIL is a stranger - she's not my mother, sister, aunt, etc., she's just my brother's wife.

As it goes with BPD/NPD family, there is always what i call the "bridger":  the person who is married to/living with who is "normal" and has to be the bridge between the rest of us.

I'm trying to figure out how to deal with her AND my brother without loosing my relationship with my brother.

Looking forward to meeting/chatting with folks!

akinco

[akinco]

Well, I'm here because, after having been raised by a mild BPD/npd mother, my brother went and married one who has (in my opinion) severe BPD/NPD and had two children with her.

After checking myself into hospital for two weeks and years of counselling, my counselor FINALLY pointed out that my mother was the problem and one can't be logical with crazy.

My brother has been married to my SIL for 26 years and she's causing problems AGAIN.  I've figured out how to deal with my mother because frankly, i love her and know how to handle her now.  My SIL is a stranger - she's not my mother, sister, aunt, etc., she's just my brother's wife.

As it goes with BPD/NPD family, there is always what i call the "bridger":  the person who is married to/living with who is "normal" and has to be the bridge between the rest of us.

I'm trying to figure out how to deal with her AND my brother without loosing my relationship with my brother.

Looking forward to meeting/chatting with folks!

akinco

[Turkish]

Hi akinco,

There are a number of members here dealing with BPD in-laws (daughters and sisters), hopefully some will chime in to support 

I'm glad you worked things through to be able to have a r/s with your mother.  I can only imagine how triggering SIL has been over the years.  What are your primary struggles with her?

Your brother is the "bridger" yes?

Turkish

[Kwamina]

Hi akinco

I would like to join the big friendly wolf in welcoming you here

You have been through a lot and I am very sorry your mother's behavior has affected you so much. I am glad though that you are now better able to deal with your mother.

My brother has been married to my SIL for 26 years and she's causing problems AGAIN.

What kind of problems is your SIL causing? What do you consider her most difficult or disturbing traits?

Does your brother also believe your SIL has certain issues?

The Board Parrot