I would appreciate any thoughts on what might be going on

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'd like to keep this kind of short . I kinda posted my story prior but if I just give a few short details hopefully someone could shed some light .

Basically I met my ex-girlfriend who is diagnosed BPD by a doctor last April . She does not do most of the things that people talk about on here . She is definitely a waif. She is very quiet she never yells and quite frankly she is probably the best girlfriend that I've ever had and I was married for 14 years so that's saying something


Long story short two months into the relationship she cosigned a car for me so we are both joint owners on the vehicle . She also purchased a phone and gave that to me as well and it is in her name . Without getting into the reasons basically she was trying to help me do to bankruptcy from divorce . I could've got a phone and a car myself but it would've been a little more expensive so she was trying to be nice . Some would argue she was being manipulative but that's another story .


So basically the week before Thanksgiving we got into an argument and I thought that maybe we should break up based on what she said in. in retrospect I think that I didn't listen to her enough and ask questions as to what she was saying end I overreacted end she went out and cheated that week . I was shocked needless to say . We were living together at this point and I told her that she needs to move out she did and once she moved out that week I told her that maybe we should try to work it out . She did not want to because I think she already like the new guy . He apparently dumped her a few days later and she called me telling me how much she missed me and made promises to work things out with me . This went on for one week and after professing her desire to be all in as she put it she cut me out 24 hours later . I tried to contact her via email with a heart felt message and you know how that goes


The bottom line is this she told me in the reply that all we need to discuss anymore is the car or the phone in terms of what to do with them I use the phone even though it's in her name and I still have the phone we have not spoken in 2 full months

Same with the vehicle I drive the car I've made all the payments I use it for work so it has 50,000 miles on it in eight months in the car is not even able to be sold or even refinanced due to its current value so it's virtually impossible to our financial situation to get out of the loan yes it was a bad decision on my part to do this so early on but now I am basically stuck


I have given a lot of background information but I really don't want advice on what to do with the car or the phone my question is this she set up the online account for the car back in June when we bought it she knows the username and the password and I've never changed it so she can go in easily and see what payments have been made she is not asked to get out of the car she has not asked for her phone back and also a month ago she used a reward card in my name end actually cashed out some points of a very small dollar amount which I thought was odd since we are already been split up a month she had saved the card from when we were dating .

A month ago I thought maybe she was trying to get my attention by using my reward card because I got an email saying all my points were used but I did not respond . Yesterday morning I went to go and pay the car payment online end I found out in the last seven days she has change the email address so that I cannot login so basically she probably assumed I cannot make the payment which is odd because she doesn't want the car . So I called Honda to make sure that maybe she just lost the password and they helped her set up the account again so she could monitor the situation. Well they said that she did it all online which means that even though she could login and see everything she deliberately tried or I guess she succeeded in changing the whole account into her email so basically I would have to contact her in order to login . Well I bypassed that by paying through the automated system and made the payment yesterday so I am sure she got an email stating that the payment was made since now it's only in her account name.

She has already changed the phone into her name I mean she has the only access to it as far as the password but she does not mess with me in anyway . She has not tried to contact me for Christmas neither did I her birthday was a few days later I did not contact her we have been radio silent for coming up on 60 days but it increasingly is seeming like she is trying to force me to react does anybody have any thoughts on this as to what is going on . I am fully aware of my options if I want to get her off the car or turn the phone over to her and yes I have already canceled the reward card that she used my only question is what is the purpose for this behavior does anyone have any clue.

There is absolutely no logical reason for changing the email address if anything it only makes it more difficult technically for me to make the payment which she is very concerned about her credit so I can't see why she would do this . Again she is not asked for her phone back I am paying the contract according to the terms and she has not asked or insisted to get her name off of the vehicle somehow so... .

[jessedsickabouther]

I'd like to keep this kind of short . I kinda posted my story prior but if I just give a few short details hopefully someone could shed some light .

Basically I met my ex-girlfriend who is diagnosed BPD by a doctor last April . She does not do most of the things that people talk about on here . She is definitely a waif. She is very quiet she never yells and quite frankly she is probably the best girlfriend that I've ever had and I was married for 14 years so that's saying something


Long story short two months into the relationship she cosigned a car for me so we are both joint owners on the vehicle . She also purchased a phone and gave that to me as well and it is in her name . Without getting into the reasons basically she was trying to help me do to bankruptcy from divorce . I could've got a phone and a car myself but it would've been a little more expensive so she was trying to be nice . Some would argue she was being manipulative but that's another story .


So basically the week before Thanksgiving we got into an argument and I thought that maybe we should break up based on what she said in. in retrospect I think that I didn't listen to her enough and ask questions as to what she was saying end I overreacted end she went out and cheated that week . I was shocked needless to say . We were living together at this point and I told her that she needs to move out she did and once she moved out that week I told her that maybe we should try to work it out . She did not want to because I think she already like the new guy . He apparently dumped her a few days later and she called me telling me how much she missed me and made promises to work things out with me . This went on for one week and after professing her desire to be all in as she put it she cut me out 24 hours later . I tried to contact her via email with a heart felt message and you know how that goes


The bottom line is this she told me in the reply that all we need to discuss anymore is the car or the phone in terms of what to do with them I use the phone even though it's in her name and I still have the phone we have not spoken in 2 full months

Same with the vehicle I drive the car I've made all the payments I use it for work so it has 50,000 miles on it in eight months in the car is not even able to be sold or even refinanced due to its current value so it's virtually impossible to our financial situation to get out of the loan yes it was a bad decision on my part to do this so early on but now I am basically stuck


I have given a lot of background information but I really don't want advice on what to do with the car or the phone my question is this she set up the online account for the car back in June when we bought it she knows the username and the password and I've never changed it so she can go in easily and see what payments have been made she is not asked to get out of the car she has not asked for her phone back and also a month ago she used a reward card in my name end actually cashed out some points of a very small dollar amount which I thought was odd since we are already been split up a month she had saved the card from when we were dating .

A month ago I thought maybe she was trying to get my attention by using my reward card because I got an email saying all my points were used but I did not respond . Yesterday morning I went to go and pay the car payment online end I found out in the last seven days she has change the email address so that I cannot login so basically she probably assumed I cannot make the payment which is odd because she doesn't want the car . So I called Honda to make sure that maybe she just lost the password and they helped her set up the account again so she could monitor the situation. Well they said that she did it all online which means that even though she could login and see everything she deliberately tried or I guess she succeeded in changing the whole account into her email so basically I would have to contact her in order to login . Well I bypassed that by paying through the automated system and made the payment yesterday so I am sure she got an email stating that the payment was made since now it's only in her account name.

She has already changed the phone into her name I mean she has the only access to it as far as the password but she does not mess with me in anyway . She has not tried to contact me for Christmas neither did I her birthday was a few days later I did not contact her we have been radio silent for coming up on 60 days but it increasingly is seeming like she is trying to force me to react does anybody have any thoughts on this as to what is going on . I am fully aware of my options if I want to get her off the car or turn the phone over to her and yes I have already canceled the reward card that she used my only question is what is the purpose for this behavior does anyone have any clue.

There is absolutely no logical reason for changing the email address if anything it only makes it more difficult technically for me to make the payment which she is very concerned about her credit so I can't see why she would do this . Again she is not asked for her phone back I am paying the contract according to the terms and she has not asked or insisted to get her name off of the vehicle somehow so... .

[kentavr3]

I understand that you are going through. I'm going through after 10 years of marriage. 4 months ago , in the morning , all our family was happy. I kissed her , kissed daughter left to job. She called me to the office and invited me to the restaurant. There she declared that she left me. She rented apartments and moved out. I was in shock, daughter was in shock. she blamed me for everything including that I said something wrong to her 10 years ago. she had already a lover and just kick me out. This was her second marriage. The first one ended up the same way, kid from the first marriage left to her father. I miss her a lot. This break up was the second cycle with her. First one with her  when she filed a protection  order against me. Protection order was denied. During 4 moths I was begging her on my knees to go back to the relationship. I couldn’t understand what happened at all. This is the first time I heard about BPD. So we lived for a year and finally she left again. All this pre breaking cycle , I lived as in hell under her blames and love stage. I understood that getting crazy too. I can give many samples how illogical BPD, but it is useless. BPDs are mentally ill. You’ll never understand them. But , try to find why you get involved with BPD? There are some problems in people who get involved with them.

[jessedsickabouther]

Thanks for taking the time to write I appreciate it. I've gone through similar things with another girl before this one but I haven't really had that many problems with this particular girl. I have looked into my own issues believe me.

I guess I was trying to just figure out the immediate issue of regarding the car and I guess if the blanket statement is that BPDs are just crazy or mentally ill then there is no logic behind this but I'm trying to figure out any reason that she changed this password yesterday and I can't come up with one