He sent my friend a message not realizing our small world.
Was this message sent through a dating website Getoverit? I can imagine that would be really painful to hear about and to have evidence of the lies he told will no doubt have brought up a great deal for you. That's really hard.
I feel so angry with myself. I had believed all his threats to end his life. I had believed that he loved me. I made so many sacrifices in service of his insecurities, financial woes, believing that he was in the least being honest.
How do I get over this? I am livid. I've been played and had and I cannot trust anyone anymore.
I hear you. I felt similarly when I heard my ex was with another woman only weeks after we split up. I was 'the only woman he ever loved' and 'he would never get over me'. I felt deeply insulted, having endured so much from this man and sacrificed more than I ever should have. His destructive actions caused immeasurable impact upon myself and my S4, whose whole life was turned upside down. Yet I still loved this man, my abuser. I felt foolish, angry, betrayed and used.
Getoverit, I can't tell you exactly how you will get over this, but I can tell you that you will. These things are sent to try us and there is a positive in there somewhere, you just don't see it yet and probably won't for some time. What I can tell you is that the experience of feeling that way was the fuel for me to ensure that I moved forward stronger and better than ever before and would make my life the life I deserve.
If anything, that was the final straw for me which sealed the deal that I would never ever look back or go there again. Find strength in the pain and disillusionment. You are a good, kind, loving person who has much to offer someone who can reciprocate and appreciate all that you are. Some day you can look back upon this time and be glad that he gave you every reason to detach and find your true path. I'm so sorry that you are hurting like this
Love and light x