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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Antidepressants and/or other medication to help move on  (Read 610 times)
Al Kaseltzer
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« on: December 31, 2018, 06:05:19 PM »

Just looking for some input here

has anyone felt the need to go on antidepressants, anti anxiety or any other types of medication following a breakup or end of a relationship on here?

in your experiences, was it helpful? 

did it help to move on?
did it speed along the process?
did it smooth out the - "cant get myself out of bed for 3 weeks straight" - type of feelings?

any other positive or negatives to take into account, or consider?
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« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2018, 06:24:35 PM »

i used them.

i cant speak so much in terms of the process. i was further on by that point, but frustrated/depressed because i was having trouble rebuilding my life. they did help.

how did the sam-e go?
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« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2018, 06:34:29 PM »

how did the sam-e go?

ive been taking it since you mentioned it last week.  havent noticed any significant results, but will certainly continue with it.  still feel miserable from the beginning of the day til the end, just varies based on how much time i spend ruminating or how much interaction i have with friends or family. 
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« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2019, 11:02:22 PM »

Hi Al

Happy new year

The anti depressants usually build up to really work well after 3 to 5 weeks.

The anti anxieties usually work straight away. I have a stash of diazepam, they are perfect on a day where the ruminations would go into over-drive and feel that I wouldnt be able to function at work. one magic pill, 15mins, a sea breeze of calm and a happy contrast. But unfortunately, a medication like that doesnt work well taking long term (more than 2 weeks usually) for anxiety, due to side effects/paradoxal rebound anxiety emerging.

there is a wide choice out there and although I didnt go down the antidepressants route, I wish I had in hindsight, it could only have helped when i weigh up the most common side effects are banal like dry mouth, bit of nausea, stuff like that. If it meant my mood is stablised to a point I can start seeing the wood for the trees, so be it.

best wishes
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« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2019, 01:23:38 PM »

Anti-anxiety meds helped me a lot. I took them based on anxiety level and not a daily dose. I cut the pills into quarters (then are reported to be addictive) and if anxiety was heating up I'd take a quarter. They work fast, so if I didn't to a manageable level in 10-15 minutes, I would take another quarter and wait another 15 minutes.

For me, taking the extreme edge off helped me more than anything. I rarely to a second quarter and I rarely to more that 3-4 quarters in a day. I rarely took them more than 3 days a week.

Knowing I had the ability to smooth out an emotional swell actually made calming without the pills easier. They helped me learn to seek a safe mental state.

I used it for intense emotional hurt, pacing, and if I couldn't step away from ruminating.

I ran - before bed to make myself sleep. I journaled here a lot.

I dried anti-depressants on two occasions in my life - brief periods - and they did not help me. I was depressed and grieving and working here helped me the most. Exercise was helpful. The anti-anxiety pills were my safety net.
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« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2019, 03:10:24 PM »

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/fashion/breakups-rejection-neuroscience.html

Tylenol or acetomifen has helped a bit for me. Take a read.
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Al Kaseltzer
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2019, 09:38:22 PM »

interesting article, it bummed me out because im such a sap right now haha.  worth a try though for sure.

i began taking a higher dosage of the Sam-e and i felt decent for most of work today. 

I used it for intense emotional hurt, pacing, and if I couldn't step away from ruminating.

for those same reasons i kind of think i would be leaning more towards anti-anxiety meds.  i need something to slow me down when my mind starts racing.  i kind of kept myself in a decent state of mind today, not great but tolerable but once i got some time to myself i just kind of just went right back into it.  replaying random stupid mistakes i made has been one thing, but the worst of it has been me trying to piece together things that happened at the end that i have no way of verifying.  i will think i am putting together pieces of the puzzle to explain what was going on towards the end without knowing enough to really be sure, and disregarding that is doesnt really matter at this point, a month removed.  its this type of energy i need to curtail, im not expecting to take something that will make me forget what happened but i literally did not get a minute of sleep last night.
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« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2019, 10:36:52 PM »

Hey Al

4am and Im sharp. Its the holidays that have caused it, I cant wait for work to start in 3 weeks, to distract the mind from the annoyances that keep this level of alertness.

Something like Zopiclone, it helped, except, the next day still feeling sedated and having to work. Im glad I only used for a week. I usually sleep well, it was one of the "gifts" of the end of the r/s, but it took a good month to ease back into.

https://www.livestrong.com/article/481527-vitamin-b6-insomnia/
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« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2019, 12:41:19 AM »

I was taking 500mg tylenol because of random headaches and backpain.

I wanted antidepressants but had this notion in my head that I wont let her do this to me. I wont let someone put me in the place where I have to take pills over them. I work in a pharmacy, but I understnd the need to. Only reason I was against meds was because she told me once "I am going to break you". I didnt want to give her that satisfaction.

What worked best for me was therapy, youtube videos, music, and going out no matter what it was or who it was with. I had to go out and explore. She was going to be on my mind either way but i would of rather go out than be home. Although, i did sulk in bed and miss classes.

Its all time, and being gentle with yourself. Be patient.
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« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2019, 03:51:43 PM »

When I went to my general doctor for my annual physical and told him my situation he ended up putting me on Prozac. Tryed that for 6 weeks and it didn't seem to do anything, maybe worse. Then I went on Zoloft. Then I went on Wellbutrin for 2 months. Didn't notice any change.I had never taken any antidepressants before in my life and I'm in my 40s. I started taking Omega threes in a heavy dose, and it seemed to make me feel better but I don't know. SAM-e as well but it didn't help. I took something for my adrenal gland from the Health store and something called ashwagandha. I've always a skeptic regarding supplements but I have to say that's what finally made me feel better.
Well I have to say, being on sites like this did better than any Prozac could do for me. I hate to say it too, whenever I heard from my ex and he was nice that was the best medicine. It's like all the resentfulness anxiety and sadness went out for my body.
Everybody is different and their response to medications. I was hoping it would work for me, praying about it! But I have several friends who have been through similar situations and they felt so much better with antidepressants. Within a week they were much better. They even lost weight! I ended up gaining 20 lb I think from the antidepressants, I wasn't eating more in fact I think I was eating less on them. Which made me really unhappy, on top of everything.
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« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2019, 03:57:38 PM »

i loved ashwaghanda!
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« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2019, 03:57:12 PM »

I will have to look into the ashwaghanda as well.  I do feel like the Sam-e has helped since i started taking more of it.

I ended up seeing someone yesterday and getting a small dosage rx of xanax, that teamed with the Sam-e has been pretty good so far today.  He gave me a couple of packs of an antidepressant called Viibryd.  Has anyone ever tried it before?  seems like reviews are kind of split as far as positive/negative so im a little hesitant to start taking it.

Also interesting, I was speaking with them about what brought me there, and the relationship, the dynamics throughout, how it ended, etc and without me ever even bringing up BPD or getting into a ton of really specific details they offered up the opinion that she sounded like a borderline.  when he said "you know what it sounds like to me... ." there was a pause and i just was waiting for it
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JNChell
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« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2019, 09:14:00 PM »

Hey, Al. The meds are working? That’s a good thing. I’ve started Sam-e again. I forgot how well it works with the mood.

How is it that you received xanex?
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« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2019, 09:46:26 PM »

i'm curious how well the xanax is working too? i'd been told it works great for mood and ruminating thoughts. thought about it myself but right now i don't have prescription insurance. it's something i may look into. least the these meds take the edge off as we center ourselves again, and help us get more functioning again.
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Al Kaseltzer
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2019, 10:33:29 PM »

I was prescribed the xanax after seeing a psychiatrist.  Like I said it is a low dosage, each pill is .25 mg, to start with. Maybe the combo of taking one of those with the sam-e (and even just knowing I have it in my pocket if need be) has definitely taken the edge off.  I would say it's the least I've ruminated about everything in the past 5-6 weeks. But it's just one day for now, we'll see how it continues.

I would recommend it, seems to be working. It's cheap too, even without rx insurance.
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« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2019, 10:43:29 PM »

Just be careful when it comes to the law. Know what I mean?
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #16 on: January 05, 2019, 11:00:02 PM »

They were prescribed, they weren't obtained illegally if that's what you mean.
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« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2019, 03:03:18 AM »

Ive tried xanax for 2 weeks they were excellent but I took them recreationally and it was pre BPD stress era so its tricky  to compare. the trick i found is to always increase up the doses and when it gets to a stage where they dont work as well or if the side effects start becoming too much, just cycle on to another that works a different way. Do the same and then cycle back to xanax again.

happy that its bring you some much needed calm and peace, some chill time.
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« Reply #18 on: January 07, 2019, 08:25:12 AM »

I took them recreationally... .

 Paragraph header (click to insert in post)
They are highly addictive and the effect is reduced when you use it often - then more is needed  to get the same effect.

This is a very quick and helpful drug. It is not a drug to play with, in my thinking.
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« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2019, 09:09:17 AM »

I got on busiprone for anxiety and the added HUGE plus was that it helped the ruminations tremendously! 
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« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2019, 03:48:04 AM »

Hi! Just signed on and this is my first post. In response to yours. After thanksgiving I was in the “can’t get out of bed for 3 week” period you referenced. So yes, I started taking Prozac, 20mg/day. I have never been on antidepressants before, and honestly I didn’t even go to a doctor. Those details are too long to explain... .but I had the meds and I started taking them because I was so fearful I was falling in to a hole I would not be able to climb out of on my own.
Short answer- yes, I believe it sincerely helped me in this time. First thing i noticed was substantial anxiety relief. Which was one of the many reasons I had been stuck in bed unable to function. Now, almost a month in, I don’t feel great, but I feel way way more able to get up in the morning. I really think the placebo affect for the first couple days (or maybe they were real? But unlikely) also was huge though... .even tho I knew it was probably placebo... .it was this feeling of somehow taking charge that turned a corner for me.
Also, yes, Xanax helps. Stay away from it if you can. Extremely highly addictive. Been there. But very VERY short term it could get you over the bend.
Prozac makes me very drowsy, still. I take it at night.
Not sure how long I’ll stay... .no sex drive... .but I feel better. Definitely didn’t have a sex drive when I was more depressed so I don’t necessarily think it’s the meds.
Anyways, write back if anyone feels drawn too. Peace y’all. Will return soon
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Al Kaseltzer
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2019, 10:58:29 AM »

I think taking them as needed or prescribed can help. I was reluctant but I think feeling the way I was after a decent amount of time had passed just really started getting to me, and speaks for itself. Its still all very fresh but I too felt like I was not in a good place. This has helped a little bit, not sure what I was expecting, it's one day at a time, some good some bad. Some sleep and some lessened anxiety is what I was looking for.
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« Reply #22 on: January 09, 2019, 10:39:07 AM »

Saw my doctor yesterday and she prescribed me citalopram for 30 days. Mostly for anxiety but ive been depressed lately. Maybe new semester and stress from it, and no motivation.
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« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2019, 07:15:27 AM »

I forgot to mention Wheat Grass juice. Obviously non-pharmaceutical, but it produces good feelings and it’s healthful. One serving is nutritionally equivalent to 3-4 pounds of vegetables. It’s not a cure all by any means, but it helps. The feelings are pretty quick. They’re hard to describe. Wheat Grass juicepowder, not wheat grass powder.
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Al Kaseltzer
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #24 on: January 12, 2019, 12:18:55 PM »

anyone have any thoughts or experiences with 5-HTP?  i was in a GNC looking around for ashwaghanda and without going into too much detail about how much of a wreck i am (i just stated anxiety, depression) one of the people working there suggested 5-HTP. 
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« Reply #25 on: January 12, 2019, 12:23:01 PM »

5htp is probably the most popular of the big three antidepressant supplements. read up first, as its had some controversy.

i tried it, didnt benefit, had a few negative side effects. it happens. people swear by it though.
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Al Kaseltzer
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #26 on: January 12, 2019, 12:27:50 PM »

what would the other two be, sam-e and ashwaghanda?

goes without saying but id imagine you found the best results with sam-e?
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« Reply #27 on: January 12, 2019, 12:34:30 PM »

sam-e and st johns wort are the other two.

i had the best results for depression, mood stability and rumination with sam-e, and i had the best results for anxiety attacks with passion flower. they could last up to eight hours, itd stop them in about fifteen minutes, and they tapered off soon after. ashwaghanda was very similar to sam-e for me, but i didnt really notice effects for more than a few days. it got me over a hump.

i didnt try 5 htp until years later though.
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Al Kaseltzer
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Alka Seltzer


« Reply #28 on: January 12, 2019, 12:42:18 PM »

oh ok, right havent tried st johns wort but have read into it as well.

also, this was something i had been thinking about the last week or so and was curious about your input OR.  what is your experience with sam-e in regards to stopping, when to stop.  is this something that should only be used for a brief period of time (say i dont know, 3-4 weeks) in order to get desired results or is this something that can help as needed for months and months.  secondly, did you notice any drop off back into depression, ruminating, etc when you did eventually stop taking it or taking less of it (assuming you did eventually stop)
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« Reply #29 on: January 12, 2019, 01:09:24 PM »

im happy to share experiences, just do bear in mind im not an authority on the subject. do research, check with your doctor, there are interactions with medications (and other supplements), and while most supplements are very safe, there can always be side effects.

to my knowledge, sam-e is sometimes used at higher doses for long term treatment of depression, and safe to use long term. whether it would need to be likely depends on the person, circumstances, etc.

i used it for several months and essentially just stopped when i didnt feel like buying it anymore and wasnt seeing further benefit. ive used it a couple of times since with not much benefit. i didnt experience any drop back into depression, or otherwise regress, no. i did have a few humps in my recovery that were circumstantial (none of these things are cures), where i would add/try new things like ashwaghanda, and that helped.
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JNChell
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« Reply #30 on: January 12, 2019, 01:40:30 PM »

ashwaghanda root is one of the ingredients in calm support.
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« Reply #31 on: January 12, 2019, 07:50:53 PM »

AL,

No pills for me,

I already take daily... .
*hypertension x2
*Cholesterol x1
*heartburn/gurd x1
*vitamins x1(2 chewie VC)

Meds, .morning and night, me and “old dog” take ours together.

Also, vitamin B12, .for “brain function”

But I’m an old Marine, with some “Black Feet” injun in me... .

So I pop the cork too... .wine and rum.

The occasional beer... .a twelve pack lasts over a month... .

I’ve been making “hot totties” lately... .

Do what works for you, but be careful, with them pills, .and the booze.

I don’t do the Mary Jane thing, or any of the dark world stuff, stay the {F} away for that stuff.

PT, is great, eating good, and drink lots of water and fruit juice... .I’m partial to hot black coffee, .in the wee hours of the morning before the sunrises... .Semper Fidelis... .

I pray and read my Bible, if your into that... .get in touch with the universe... .nature, the cruel world... .chew some dirt Man!

Physical fitness, exersice is the best way to go... .PT!

Walk, run, ride a bike, go fishing, .watch the sun come up on a beach... .soul stuff Man ; )

Take care of your body, and your body will take care of your mind : )

Get out in nature... .

It’s my humble opinion, drugs to soothe the mind are not good in the long run.

My experience in the Veterans system gong this loud and clear to me, .another discussion for another day ; (

Like putting duct tape on a leaking radiator hose.

You take good care now AL!

We are chewing the same dirt !

Kind regards, Red5

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« Reply #32 on: January 12, 2019, 08:16:04 PM »

Hi Al,

I'm currently taking 5-HTP.  I originally got it to help with my lack of sleep and it does seem to help a bit with that which in turn helps my anxiety.  I take Vitamin B complex which is supposed to reduce stress.  I've also just started taking L-theanin today which is said to assist with anxiety, I will report back on how it goes. 

I've been trying to exercise regularly too which really does make me feel better.  It's all about trying to find the motivation to do it for me though!
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