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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: What qualities do we have to develop to attract the right kind of partner?  (Read 71 times)
zachira
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« on: January 11, 2019, 01:44:10 PM »

My question is: What qualities do we have to develop in ourselves to attract the right kind of partner?
« Last Edit: January 11, 2019, 01:50:47 PM by once removed » Logged

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Learning from the Wounds of a Failed Relationship board is a place to post after the acute anxiety and wounds of breaking up are expressed and to learn about relationships, human nature, the difference between dysfunction and normal relationship difficulties, and how to make better choices.
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« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2019, 01:54:00 PM »

good question. we can have high standards, but such things are more obtainable when we consistently meet them ourselves.

for me (long term), its about improving my "skills": emotional maturity, conflict resolution, compromise, showing thoughtfulness, being a better listener.

shorter term, living a healthy lifestyle, pursuing my goals, hopes and dreams, having my life "on the ball" so to speak.
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
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« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2019, 10:52:16 PM »

zachira   Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

Emotional maturity. That's probably something I was in want of most after the relationship with UexBPDGF.

It seems to work. Highly recommended. Also fantastic for handling so much other stuff in life.

emotional maturity
Way to go! (click to insert in post)  I enjoy company with this guy.
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Turkish
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« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2019, 01:21:15 AM »

What's the right kind of partner?

I'd be myself.  To quote Martin Luther, "here I stand,  I cannot do otherwise." My quasi-BPD relationship broke me of changing into someone else in order to please or soothe another.
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