Should I tell him he has a PD?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I don't intend to tell him he has BPD. After 6 years with him I have no doubt that he has, but I want him to figure it out in therapy.  He isn't even in therapy but I hope to get him back in.

What I am contemplating is telling him that he has a pd and that this is why all the medication his GP prescribes isn't helping.  We started 2019 with him on 2 antidepressants,  a tranquilizer and a mood stabilizer. I don't see how a GP is qualified to treat his condition.  He needs to learn coping skills.

The festive season was bizarre. There was a night between Christmas and New year's that really was too much for me. He said he was watching tv in the study and would come to bed when the movie was over. He said 30 minutes. I went to sleep around 11, but woke up 3 times realizing he still had not come to bed.  The 4th time I got up and half asleep I opened the study door to see what's going on.  There he was, sitting in the floor. Shoes on, trousers down to his ankles. He was mastrubating. I simply asked what the hell is going on, it's 3:30 in the morning.  Then I closed the door and went to sleep again. He never did come to bed.

What got me most about it is that my sister was staying with us for the holidays.  Her bedroom was right next to the study. She even told me in the morning that she got up twice during the night and found him still dressed and acting weird. He later confessed to me that he had gotten high and never slept that entire night.

I don't quiet know why, but that episode has stuck with me.  My reaction to walking in on it was like a wife that had seen this so many times that she wasn't even shocked or surprised. His behavior during the entire December was disturbing  in all kinds of ways that will take too long to go into.

Do I just tell him that I think he has a PD and that pills alone won't make him better?

[Perdita]

I don't intend to tell him he has BPD. After 6 years with him I have no doubt that he has, but I want him to figure it out in therapy.  He isn't even in therapy but I hope to get him back in.

What I am contemplating is telling him that he has a pd and that this is why all the medication his GP prescribes isn't helping.  We started 2019 with him on 2 antidepressants,  a tranquilizer and a mood stabilizer. I don't see how a GP is qualified to treat his condition.  He needs to learn coping skills.

The festive season was bizarre. There was a night between Christmas and New year's that really was too much for me. He said he was watching tv in the study and would come to bed when the movie was over. He said 30 minutes. I went to sleep around 11, but woke up 3 times realizing he still had not come to bed.  The 4th time I got up and half asleep I opened the study door to see what's going on.  There he was, sitting in the floor. Shoes on, trousers down to his ankles. He was mastrubating. I simply asked what the hell is going on, it's 3:30 in the morning.  Then I closed the door and went to sleep again. He never did come to bed.

What got me most about it is that my sister was staying with us for the holidays.  Her bedroom was right next to the study. She even told me in the morning that she got up twice during the night and found him still dressed and acting weird. He later confessed to me that he had gotten high and never slept that entire night.

I don't quiet know why, but that episode has stuck with me.  My reaction to walking in on it was like a wife that had seen this so many times that she wasn't even shocked or surprised. His behavior during the entire December was disturbing  in all kinds of ways that will take too long to go into.

Do I just tell him that I think he has a PD and that pills alone won't make him better?

[Cat Familiar]

We don’t recommend telling your partner that you believe he has a PD. Here is a link about getting your loved one into therapy Get your family member into therapy

Perhaps he also has a substance abuse issue or a sex addiction. Both of those issues can be used as self soothing mechanisms.