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Author Topic: BPD Business Partner  (Read 409 times)
Crieks
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 1


« on: February 17, 2019, 02:35:13 AM »

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My business partner has BPD. I did not know this untill now. I knew she was was suffering from depression and was on anti depressants.
We bought a business together. She inherrited quite a bit of money from her brother. A couple of month's into our new business a bakery who supplied baked goods to 70 shops, so quite stressfull), she started displaying weird charachteristics. She would cling to me vehemently or ignore me and talk badly about me behind my back. She had no interest in the business and I had to do 80% of her workload as well. Otherwise things would call apart.  We had a staff component of 9 people and all the training and HR and disciplinarian disciplinarian had to do by myself, product development, sales as well as the physical baking. She started making big mistakes with the finances, not paying suppliers when she had to so accounts would run up and then I would find it and then she would just say that it was her mistake and pay her own money in! This caused a lot of tension. She would have mood swings and be glum and rude to customers or funny and witty. You just never knew.
Then she started a relationship with a narcissist. They would have huge fights break up like 20 times and every time the world stopped for her and she could not function. He also emotionally and verbally abused her. So it was just so terrible and I had to pick up the pieces.
Regardless I managed to keep things going and the business was doing well. We grew in popularity and I build a coffee shop and restaurant with the bakery. She did not know how to even make a cup of coffee or fry an egg and I had to do all that.
As I loved the work and was very in tune with what the customers want, everything I made was scooped up quickly and demand grew. Soon she started saying it's all about you everybody hates me.  The financial mistakes carried on, regardless of my pleas, each time another stuff up just as we fixed the one. She kept on putting money in. In the beginning her job was the financial administration and mine production.
Things turned really bad when I was in a wild fire accident where I stepped into an underground fire of tree roots. I almost died and had to endure months in the hospital with painful surgeries.
She phoned me in hospital and said that she wants nothing to do with me and proceeded to ignore me. When I got home (a lived next to each other) she ignored me for months, did not pay my salary on time, spoke badly about me and gave no support. I could barely walk and was wheelchair bound. I worked so hard to return back to work cause I just knew that there was a big stuff up waiting, the longer I stay at home. She then told me that she went through just as a bad time as I so I must not expect any special treatment.
Anyway even though my legs was not 100% and working in a hot bakery was not doable anymore, I put systems in place to ensure things can go on as everything was a mess.
She bought a property to move the bakery in as we were renting, put it in the business name and said it is her way to say sorry.
A month before a had to move into the new building she had a breakdown and literally picked up her bag and walked out of the business, her house, her animals everything. Leaving me to pack up a 40 ton factory. She then said that she is finished and the business is now closed.
The bakery was the only business in a small town and a beacon of hope and the heartbeat of where everyone got together. So she leaves and the townfolk is up in arms, unhappy, even crying. I had to layoff the staff. Then she said to everyone that she has been keeping the business going financially and ń money is finished now. When in fact my work brought sufficient monies, but she made all these mistakes. I am now stuck so stuck. She moved back home out of town, I have nothing and am just screwed. She does not even want to sell the business and we are 50/50. She has cut me off and refuses to communicate. What now?

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Copycat2018
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 70


« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2019, 04:52:10 PM »

Hi,

I am very sorry for what happened to you. I know that does not account for much help, but i really feel compassion for you.

It appears to me that you went into business with her and did not leave because she had the money part and you had the know-how part of the business. You knew how to tap into what is needed by your customers and she could not do that part but she had money and she supplied that till she finally stopped.
I think that she provided the financial security for you even though not ideally well.

What you need now most is a way to replace her in that role.
Youhave shown according to your story remarkable capability to find a solution to keep going through incredible challenges.

Do not give up now.
Find people investing in your talent instead of this person. That is what you need. If it is a small community you might need a lot of small investors.

There was a movie about a small town and horse racing business in the UK where the many owners was the final solution to lack of capital. Dark Horse is the title.

You seem to be very capable, i hope you will succeed.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2019, 04:59:11 PM by Copycat2018 » Logged
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