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Skills we were never taught
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Author Topic: Child about to be transferred to a secure unit - again  (Read 385 times)
Wilma01
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: February 23, 2019, 09:10:00 AM »

Hi guys, I wonder if any of you have any advice or experience that could help me Please? My daughter who is now 21 is currently under section in a local hospital. She has been more in than out for the past 2 years. She started significant self harm at the age of 15 and by 16 had been placed in a secure unit (not theralutic!)for her own safety we were told. After 6 months there and a complaint by myself to the health board and social services she was moved into secure mental health hospitals all over the country. As you Can imagine this was massively traumatic for her and me. At 18 she came home but wanted her independence and a normal life as she saw it. She moved into a mind bedsit with part time on call staff available. This was unsuccessful and as stated at the beginning of the post spent 2 years in and out of hospital and on section. The hospital do not feel they can help her and are now looking to place her in a secure unit which could be anywhere in the country she doesn't want this and neither do I. I would like her to come home and ideally I would support her 24/7. Realistically I can't afford to give up work to do this as I have no savings and I am on my own. I believe you can get carers allowance but this would not be enough to cover all bills and food etc.  Anybody found themselves in this position or have any advice? X x x
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Harri
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
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« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2019, 10:25:06 AM »

Hi Wilma and welcome to the board.  I am so sorry to hear about your daughters struggles and yours.  I am glad you reached out here as we do have people here who can relate and perhaps can offer some words of wisdom.  What I can offer is assurance that you are not alone in this.  Unfortunately I do not have advice I can offer you but I did want to say welcome and also direct you to some reading material you can look through and see if there is anything there that might stand out to you.  If you check out the tacked topic HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE you will see a bunch of links.  See if any are helpful of apply to your situation.

I know your primary concern right now is for your daughter, but what sort of support do you have, other than us here?  Are other people aware of your situation?

Hang in there.  I am sure someone else will be along to help you with your more immediate concern.  In the meantime, I can listen.   
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  "What is to give light must endure burning." ~Viktor Frankl
zachira
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 3236


« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2019, 10:59:50 AM »

My heart aches when I hear all you are going through with your daughter, yet at the same time I admire how you are standing by her and doing everything you can to help her. I am wondering if your daughter qualifies for a program that would pay for a live in caregiver for your daughter. This live in caregiver would not have to be you, and there would possibly be funds to pay for an apartment for her and the caregiver. I would talk to some local social workers who know about funds and programs for the disabled.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2019, 11:05:05 AM by zachira » Logged

wendydarling
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2701



« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2019, 04:58:57 PM »

Hi Wilma01

Along with Harri and zachira I welcome you, I'm glad you've reached out for support and so sorry you're both going this. Are you in the UK, you mention a mind bedsit.

Can I ask what treatments, diagnosis your dear daughter (DD) has been given.

Look forward to getting to know you and hearing more from you.

We're here to help anyway we can.

WDx
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
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