how to avoid divorce from my BPD wife who is wanting divorce

[DAJ]

my wife has been diagnosed with BPD however refuses to be in therapy.I know she loves me and we are married for 4 years. we don't have kids and now after splitting me she wants a divorce and I don't want to leave her

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[zachira]

Can you tell us a little more about your wife wanting a divorce? Do you think that wanting a divorce is something she feels momentarily or she has definitely made up her mind and there is nothing  you can do to change it? Can you share with us what made you fall in love with your wife and what are the reasons you want to stay married to her?

[DAJ]

we had an arrange marriage. I feel that is undergoing "splitting" and therefore wants separation though she was want to have kids with me fifteen days prior. she feels that I have inappropriately requested her family members to convince her therapy. I want to avoid the divorce because I feel it would be difficult for her to face another set back in life and secondly because I myself love her and need her in my life

[Purplex]

Hi DAJ and welcome to the family 

Getting a pwBPD into therapy is a very difficult task and requires a lot of sensitivity, otherwise it can easily be percieved as a breach of trust and put them on the defensive. It is understandable that you want her to get help, and this article offers some valuable insight on how to approach this without coming across as critical or reproachful. Feel free to share your thoughts or ask any questions!

How did things devolope in the meantime? Is she still pushing for divorce?