A positive step

[sandgrounder]

Yesterday my daughter went and got almost everything from her ex’s house. I found out from her sports coach that part of the issue is that he was being a jerk about it and partly she was scared. Maybe physically scared but mainly I think of that fact that this is a major step towards getting him out of her life. She knows he is not good to her or for her but she clings to him because she loves him.

I would like to say she got everything but excluding any minor things that don’t matter, she left her PS4 there as she has his Nintendo switch. I really wish she’d swapped these so there was nothing left to be sorted.

Finally I want to say that I feel really bad when I read other stories on this board. I realise in some ways it could be so much worse. My daughter doesn’t do drugs or threaten me. She takes out her issues on herself though - she has self harmed at least once recently and she’s on the edge of anorexia. So I can at least keep her without worrying for my safety.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Moving most of her stuff out of her ex's house is a huge step in the right direction for your daughter. It is good that she can live safely with you.

[Huat]

Hello Sandgrounder

You write..."I want to say that I feel really bad when I read other stories on this board.  I realize in some ways it could be so much worse..."

While all of our stories here are different, we are all feeling hurts.  Whatever the story that is shared, it resonates with someone and helps them to know that they are not alone.

Hope you keep sharing, Sandgrounder.   It is interesting to read how all is unfolding in your situation.

Huat

[sandgrounder]

Thanks both.

She had her second session with community care. Afterwards she asked if I could drive her to our local further education college to pick up a prospectus as she wants to start an art course in September. I think this would be a great idea as it would give her a purpose to get out of bed, meet new people and restart her life. She was working in a finance department before this crisis but that was not what she wanted to do with her life.

So far this has been a good week

[stampingt1]

Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction!

 

[FaithHopeLove]

I love reading about good news! I celebrate with you! 

[sandgrounder]

Further development, not sure if this is bad or good. I think it's bad now but maybe good in the long run. She went for a session with her fitness trainer which is shared with her ex (I've said I'll pay the extra for her to have sessions on her own but so far she's not accepted).

She came back upset and turned her head as walked past me as if to hide tears. Apparently the ex is pressuring her to return a Pandora necklace he bought her a few weeks ago and even threatened to take her to court over it. I only hope this will make her see he's a jerk and maybe even give her the push to report his behaviour to the police.